Winter of Our Discontent

Here is Chapter 12. Hope you like it. Sorry it is a little short.

Title: The Winter Of Our Discontent
Author: Lex
Feedback: Yes, Yes, Yes
Pairing: Remy/ Logan
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: strong language
Summary: I found myself angry at the end of the comic Ultimate X-men
#41 when Logan is sent to "deal" with a young mutant boy whose powers
are inadvertently deadly to those around him and so I thought I would
continue the story as I felt it after I finished the book.
Disclaimer: Though I love the X-men they do not belong to me and the
only thing I gain from writing about them is the pleasure of their
company
Author's notes: I guess kind of comic verse and AU. Not slash really…
but getting there, and I do not speak kindly of the mutant band in
this story.


Chapter 12

Logan sat quietly. He was trying to process all that he heard. He
could not seem to wrap his mind around the information that Remy had
given him. Anger, grief, sadness all seemed to converge on him at one
time.
Remy could feel it all. He tried to block the emotions coming at him,
but the link he had formed when he entered Logan's mind kept the flow
coming. His heart ached for the man beside him. He wanted to reach
out and hold him, to take all the pain away. He reached to Logan, but
his heart sank as Logan stood and began to dress.


"I need to go for a walk." It was all Logan said as he grabbed his
coat and walked out the door.

"Should have burned dem when I found dem." Remy sighed and lay on the
bed. He felt like his world was crashing around him. He wanted to
know the answers that were on those typed pages so badly. Who was he?
What was he? He had asked those questions for so many years now. He
never believed that he was unlike any of the other mutants he knew.
Over the years, he had thought about the reasons why he was sent away
from them, or taken away. He knew the reasons now and he wished to
God he never looked in those files. He wished that he never accepted
the final request from Scott. He wished he had not told Logan. God,
how he wished he had not told Logan. How would he accept him being
the child of the X-men's nemesis? He tried to stop the tears as they
fell. His family was corrupt. He was corrupt. He corrupted all he
touched - Belladonna, Rogue and now Logan. He was the child of
Logan's lover. He had listened for hours as Logan talked about her.
Well, talked of what he could remember of her. He had thought her
dead so many years ago and now…

Remy curled himself around the pillow and closed his eyes. He wanted
to sleep so that when he woke he would find that he had dreamt it
all. Logan would be here with him and they would be on their way to
Canada.
Logan was walking the dark streets of Minneapolis. He sat on a bench
and closed his eyes. He tried to think on what he had just been told.
Silver Fox, his Silver Fox was used to create – he tried to think of
the terrible things that were most likely done to her but could only
focus on the fact that she had been used to create - Remy. He could
not get that thought out of his mind. His lover from his past was the
mother of his current lover.

He was angry for what was done to her but found that he was
also...grateful. Grateful? He opened his eyes at that thought. "Fuck"
he whispered. "What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be grateful
for what was done to her?" He thought about his past, what he could
remember of her, fighting along side her, loving her. He closed his
eyes again and pictured her face, her eyes, and her smile. The same
smile he realized he had come to love again in the recent weeks. His
thoughts left her and drifted to another. The one who promised to
leave all he loved behind and start a new life in the middle of
nowhere.

His thoughts were focused on the person who above all the others
reached him. This person saw past all the bullshit. He saw past the
violence, the fear, the self-loathing. He saw Logan. The man he was
before… He thought about the nights spent at Harry's playing pool and
drinking until Harry had to throw them out. He smiled at how the kid
would talk him into playing poker as a way to get him to open up
about his feelings. He told the brat everything, and never felt like
his conversation was unwelcome. He sought the boy out sometimes under
the guise of drinking or a danger room practice only to tell him how
he was feeling about a mission, or Jubilee or life. Remy listened to
him. Really listened. He would sometimes offer advice, but mainly he
just listened as Logan came to his own decisions. Then they would
part company, each going off alone to lick wounds or drown them in
alcohol or warm bodies. Logan realized now it was pretty one-sided.
He had never talked to Remy about his problems. He never asked the
kid about Rogue. He knew it was a doomed relationship, but never said
anything. He saw it failing, saw how the kid would try to make it
work even though it was crashing and burning around him. Maybe if he
had been more like Remy, Antarctica would never have happened. Maybe…

Logan opened the door to the room and walked over to the bed. He bent
over the sleeping figure and smiled, trying to figure out the mish-
mosh as Remy had called it. Red hair, he got that from Raven.
Probably the eyes too. The height and kinetic power? Mags. But the
stubborn streak, temper and disarming personality? That was pure
Silver Fox. The kid had some lineage. The X-men were fools for not
working harder to get the boy to trust them.

"Yer somethin', kiddo" he whispered.

He reached into the pocket of Remy's coat to replace the papers and
felt another packet. He pulled them out and opened them. His eyes
narrowed as he read the pages, then he fell onto his knees and
continued reading. Tears formed as he read what the paper suggested.
He was not an innocent victim of the military. He was a mercenary, a
hired killer. He asked for this life, this curse. Logan looked over
at the sleeping figure. Did Remy read this? Did he know? He sighed
and moved over to the bed. Leaning his back against the side, he
closed his eyes and willed the night's events away.