Primal Urges

Part Eleven

The weeks pass and the intense “therapy” that Charles hinted at has had a rough beginning. At first, Ororo didn’t want to believe them when they told her what she had said to Logan…and that was why he was staying away from her. A big part of her is hurt by his absence and is desperate to have him protect her other times than just while she sleeps…but when she awakens and sees him, all she can see is that beast. Ororo knows that she’s hurting him immensely by her rejection, and this is why he has stopped coming to visit her. The wind-rider has cried more in the days since her awakening than she ever has.

“Jean…I need to get up. I have been in this bed for over three weeks, I need to walk.” Ororo says decisively as she swings her legs over the edge of the bed. Jean nods, but gives her a warning, “It will take a while for you to get your legs back, so be patient.” Jean comes over to her to help her up, but she’s not strong enough. Jean calls out for help…

'Scott, we need you…'

As she waits for him, she asks, “How are you…really?”

‘Ro looks at her, “I miss Logan…I miss him holding me and telling me that he loves me…but when he’s near or I sense he’s near, I panic. I can’t keep doing this to him…eventually, he’ll leave, this time forever.” Tears start falling and Jean holds her, rocking her gently. “Don’t say that…he knows how you feel and that you’re scared right now. Logan loves you…he has been here for you…”

“I still can’t believe I said those things to him…he really must hate me now…Goddess please, I can’t…lose…him…too!” she sobs out desperately. Jean feels tears prick her eyes as she comforts her. Scott walks in as she is calming her down…with Jean waving him back. She turns to Ororo, “Maybe you need some more rest…”

“No…I have to get out of here!” she says, wiping her eyes as she straightens her gown. Jean waves Scott back and he smiles as he enters, “Hey ‘Ro…I hear you want to take a walk.”

“Yes. It’s good to see you.” She watches him approach, feeling a small bit of apprehension, but nothing as stifling as when Logan or Hank are around. Even Hank stopped coming when she’s awake to ease her tension, and to make Logan feels a little better. Jean and Hank know that Logan still stays in her room late at night…to keep watch, but leaves early in the morning so he won’t scare her. She seems to know he’s there, because she sleeps restfully.

Scott takes her by the left side while Jean takes her right…and slowly she stands. It’s hard for her to feel her feet, but once the blood starts to flow through her legs, they tingle. She tries to take a step, but her legs can’t take the weight.

“Take it easy…it’ll come.” Jean says as she strains to hold her up. Logan wouldn’t have a problem with this…she thinks and her eyes catch Scott’s…seeing the same thing in his face. “Let’s take a break…” Jean says and they move her back to the bed, sitting her down. Panting, ‘Ro looks at her friends, “Thank you for trying…I guess all this dead weight is a bit much for you.”

“Naw…” Scott says as he is trying to catch his breath. Ororo smiles, “Nice try, but I know it was hard…Logan and Hank wouldn’t have such problems…” she says sadly. She folds her hands in her lap and looks down….her anger rising. “I said I wouldn’t let this thing destroy me…wouldn’t let him bring me down…but he’s gotten the best of me, he has me afraid of the very person that saved me…that loves me. He’s taking that away from me…”

“If you think that, then fight back…don’t let him win. Fight back, ‘Ro!” stressed Jean.

She whispers, “I don’t know how…”

Jean comes over to her, “You have never backed down from a challenge in your life…do you love Logan?”

Sad eyes look up at her, “Yes…with all that I am.”

“Then you can beat this…we’re all here to help, even Logan. It’s going to take some time, but you can find your way back to him…and he’ll be there.”

“I don’t know…he can’t keep taking me pushing him away.” Ororo says despondently. Scott and Jean look at her, not knowing what else to say. They watch as she carefully pulls the cover back over herself…drawing it up under her chin.



There isn’t enough stuff in the Danger Room to help Logan out, he’s destroyed more shit in here than they actually have to use. Breathing heavily, he finally comes to the conclusion that he can’t stay anymore. For the past few days, he has only been able to be near her when she’s asleep and that is no way to be. His koibito…his koibito no more… 'When she was just my friend, I could do this, but now…it hurts to even breathe around her!' He had told her he wasn’t leavin’…now he’s a liar as well…so for the first time in almost a month, he makes his way out of the room and upstairs. As he makes it to the second floor, he’s attacked by a young girl with a silver streak in her hair.

“Logan! Where you been?! I was so worried…no one told us what was goin’ on, and Ms. Munroe…” she rambles. Logan stiffens at the mention of her name. “Hey, kid. ‘Ro is fine…she got a bit banged up, that’s why they still have her down there. She’ll be back soon enough ta’ fail ya’!” he says, trying to make a joke.

She doesn’t buy it, “What really happened ta’ her?”

“She got banged up…is all. Now, I need ta’ get cleaned up…gotta go somewhere.”

Rogue stares at him, knowing instinctively what he’s planning to do, “You’re leavin’, ain’tcha?”

Logan looks at her with a surprised look on his face, and again she’s not buying it, “I’ll be back…I came back b’fore.” She shakes her head, “I know ya’, Logan…yer runnin’, why?”

His expression changes as his face hardens, “I really gotta go, Marie…” and he enters his room, closing the door on her. She stares at the door for a moment before running off to find the Professor.

Logan stomps over to his dresser and grabs a few things…she was right, he is leaving. He can’t continue to stay here watching over her from afar, knowing that she thinks he’s as much a beast as that fuckin’ Creed! This isn’t workin’ for me and I ain’t strong enough for it! Might as well try to find him and take my pound of flesh outta him for takin’ her from me!



'There will be time for that, Logan…but don’t give up…'

'Damn that girl! She jus’ hadta’ run tell you…'

'She was worried about you…please, talk to me…'

'Ain’t nothin’ ta’ say…she don’t want me, so I’m gone…can’t take it, can’t just be her friend…too much has happened…'

'Please talk to me…'

'No! Now, get the hell outta my head!'



Logan throws the clothes into an old backpack and grabs his stash of cigars…damn, it’s been sometime since he even thought about one. Throwing them in the bag, he heads back out…thankfully avoiding Rogue and anyone else that may try to stop him.

He won’t think of her…he won’t think he may just die without her. She’ll be better off without me! He jogs down the stairs, passing the rec room. Looking in, he sees Rogue with that Cajun kid…'that boy is a damn heartbreaker, but she can handle herself!' Logan smiles ruefully as she slaps him on the arm for something he says…

'Yeah…she’ll be just fine.'

He continues out the hall and into the garage where his bike waits. He jumps on, starting the engine and revving it to give it gas. Dammit, ‘Ro! he thinks one last time before opens the door to roll out. As the door is rising, he sees the big, furry body of Dr. Henry McCoy.

“Where are you going, Logan?”

He frowns, “Away from here…now, move.”

Hank shakes his head, “Can’t let you do that…”

Logan shuts he engine off and climbs off the bike, “Look, bub…I ain’t got no trouble wit’cha…jus’ lemme pass.”

“I was told to keep you here…”

Logan snarls, “Tell Chuck ta’ leave me the fuck alone!”

“No, I won’t…” says another, calm voice. He turns around and Xavier comes up behind him. “Great, now I got two o’ ya’ ta’ deal with!”

“Logan, she still needs you…” Xavier starts, but Logan rages back, “She don’t need me…she don’t even want me in the same building with her! When she sees me, she sees HIM !” The feral walks away from them and heads out on the grounds…the backpack and bike forgotten for now. Hank and Xavier follow him…keeping their distance, but making sure he doesn’t decide that there is a better way to leave here. Logan heads out towards the lake…his spot, her spot to be themselves. Once he reaches the clearing, those fucking memories come back too…how Ororo spilled her heart to him in the rain…how she clung to him and he to her as they finally set free the emotions they have been holding back for quite some time. Logan closes his eyes as he berates himself for coming here…and he hears people coming up behind him.

“Are y’all ever gonna leave me alone?” he asks.

“Sure, once we talk with you.” Hank says as he gets comfortable on a nearby rock. Logan just looks out of the corner of his eye at him, completely ignoring Xavier who has come up next to him on the other side. They all just look out over the water for a few minutes until Logan claps his hands, “Well, this was fun...time ta’ get goin’…”

“Logan, you can’t keep running from this…from her.” Hank says as he turns darkened eyes to him.

“I ain’t runnin’…she don’t want me here!”

“She doesn’t know what she wants right now…she’s scared.” Xavier supplies…Logan bristles, “You really expect me ta’ stay here and scare the living shit outta her every day!” He turns to look at Xavier, “For fuck’s sake…she can’t have kids! He fucked her so rough that she can’t have kids!!!! And she was pregnant! Oh, jeez…if she knew that, it’d be somethin’ else she’d think I did!!” he screams. Xavier looks at Hank, who looks down…he had not been told that about Ororo.

Clearing his throat, he says to Logan, “Alright…it was your fault…”

Logan stares at him, so does Hank…and he continues, “She fell in love with you and he used that against you by violating her. She fought him with everything she had…she did not want him to win, but by you walking away…he does. All of her efforts are for nothing…is that what you want?”

“She’s not mine anymore…it don’t matter…” Logan whispers.

“It does matter…if you want it to. She will choose who she wants…not have it chosen for her. You need to give her time…”

“No, it’s over…she made that clear, now lemme go!” Logan says as he tries to leave, Hank steps in front of him, “You need to stay, Logan.”

*snikt* “I think ya’ need ta’ get out my way…” Logan warns as he raises his claw. “…don’t make me use this…”

“You would hurt me?”

“Get outta my way, Fuzzball…”

Xavier speaks again, “She still loves you…”

“STOP SAYIN’ THAT!!!!! She can’t love me…not like that, not no more. I’m a beast, dammit….that’s what she sees!”

“Then show her who you really are…and that’s not a beast.”

Logan doesn’t want to listen...he doesn’t want to admit that even though Ororo has been pushing him away, he still wants to be there. He takes a deep breath as the two men watch him, waiting to see if they have gotten through to him. Logan looks out over the lake, imaging a smiling Ororo…floating naked above the water, flying as if she didn’t have a care in the world. 'Yeah, she needs that…she needs to be free again…'

“Ya’ win…I’ll hang around ta’ help her…if I can. But, as soon as she’s better…I’m gone.”

“Logan…you can’t mean…” starts Hank, but the feral cuts him off. “I do mean it. Ya’ want me ta’ help her and I
will…but no more than that. She’s not gonna need me anymore then.”

“You don’t know that…she does love you…” insists Hank.

“Don’t tell me that again…or I’m leavin’. Don’t need no false hopes…”

Hank starts to argue again, but Xavier stops him, “We understand Logan…thank you.”

“I need some time by ma’self…” Logan says and they both nod. As they start to make their way back to the mansion, Hank looks back at the forlorn figure staring out into the night.

“Professor…he can’t think like that…he’s pulling away,” he remarks and Xavier continues to stare straight ahead. “I know, but right now we need him to help bring her back. If he has to do that to stay strong for the task at hand, then we must let him.”

“It’s not fair to let him just descend into despair…he feels hopeless enough!”

“I know…it’ll work out, we have to believe that.”

They leave Logan to ponder his decision…




The teens watch as Hank and the Professor come back in the mansion…still in the dark about what’s going on in the lower levels. “Maybe we should sneak down there…” suggests Bobby, but Kitty hits him in the arm.

“They would kill us…I’m sure they’ll let us know when it’s time.” Jubilee says.

“Ya, I am sure ‘dat ‘dey ‘vil let us know ‘vat is going on…” suggests Piotr. Rogue and Remy, on the other hand, can’t wait anymore. They stand, “We’re gonna get somethin’ ta’ snack on…we’ll be back.” Rogue says as they head off toward the kitchen. They enter the dining room when Remy pulls her to the side. “Okay, chere…dere is a secret entrance in here, non?”

“Yeah, behind that cabinet…they put it thea’ since tha’ attack on the mansion some months ago.” She heads to the cabinet and pulls on the third plate on the second shelf. A latch clicks with the cabinet swinging open. Remy looks down the steps first, then he grabs her hand and they head down.

They come out down the hall from the Medlab…and they slowly sneak over to the doorway. Rogue clutches Remy’s arm as they get closer. As he has quite a few times before, he looks down at her small gloved hands and finally decides to ask, "Why you wearin' 'dese, chere?"

Rogue stops, contemplating what to say...hoping it won't scare him away, "I...I can't touch anyone. If I do, I take yer life force. I can neva have any kind of human contact..." an she lowers her gaze, suddenly afraid of what he'll say. Remy smiles gently, "Is 'dat all? I was tinkin' you not like me 'dat much, ma belle!"

Feeling better about herself, Rogue smiles tremulously as her mind comes back to the mission at hand. “Maybe we shoulda’ stayed upstairs…” she whispers.

“Maybe you should have,” another voice answers. “Damn…” Remy hisses as they turn around to see Dr. McCoy staring at them. They look like deer caught in headlights as the furry mutant comes towards them. “I see you figured out how to get down here.”

“My idea…Remy thought ‘dat Marie’d feel betta’ if she saw Mam’selle Munroe…we all worried.” Remy explains. Hank smiles at the smooth answer, “There is a reason we didn’t tell you kids what was going on…but I think Ororo may want to see you. Go ahead in...Jean is there, I’ll catch up with you later.” He moves away and heads off into the debriefing room. Rogue looks into the lab and sees Jean standing there, waiting.

“Hello Rogue…Remy. Snuck down here, did you?” she asks. They both look at her sheepishly before Remy asks, “Is Ms. Munroe okay?”

Jean nods, “She’s better…but let me see if she’ll let you see her.” The redhead moves off and enters the small room on the other side. Remy looks at Rogue, “What be goin’ on here, chere?”

“Ah wish Ah knew…” she murmurs as she watches Jean come back out to them. Smiling, she tells them, “She’ll see you, but you have to swear to keep everything that you find out to yourselves…for now.”

“’Kay,” they both say as they head to the room. They step into the doorway and see Ororo sitting in the bed. Her hair is tied back, but she’s smiling. Her face is a little thin and her eyes are not as bright as they once were, but she motions for them to come closer.

“Hello, children.”

Rogue comes over and gives her a hard hug, “Ms. Munroe…Storm…Ah was so worried.” Ororo closes her eyes as she hugs her back. “I’m fine now…I’m sorry I had you guys worry so much, but I had something serious happen to me.”

Rogue looks into her face and sees the fear, “What happened ta’ ya’?”

Ororo sighs, looking at the young Cajun whose dark eyes just stare on. “Rogue…a lot has gone on that someone as young as you may not be able to take…but it is going to have to come out sometime, and now is as good a start as any…”

“You’re scarin’ me…” she stammers and Remy speaks, “Let her take her time, chere.”

“Thank you…” Ororo says. “Sabretooth and Wraith set up an ambush…it was designed to capture me, but Sabretooth had other ideas. He wanted to get back at Logan, so he…he…” her voice starts to tremble, not able to say it.

“He raped her…” a low, husky voice says. All eyes turn to the doorway and there stands Logan. He refuses to come in any further, but the brief flicker of thanks in Ororo’s eyes gives him a brief glimmer of hope.

Rogue’s eyes turn back to Ororo, tears falling. “No…he couldn’t have.”

Remy looks in the faces of the older X-Men and his heart hardens…inadvertently he was the start of all this…if they hadn’t been sent to retrieve him, then whoever did this wouldn’t have been able to look them over to make a choice. “’Dat why you be down here, Logan?” he asks the man at the doorway.

“Yeah…wanted ta’ make sure she was okay.”

Ororo nods, not willing to add that she can’t have him near her anymore. Rogue sees it though, “Come in, Logan…Ah’m sure that she would be happy ta’ see ya’…”

“No, actually she wouldn’t.” he says in a hurt tone. Rogue looks back at her, “He saved ya’…stayed out for a whole day lookin’ for ya’, why would ya’ treat him like that?” she asks. The weather goddess just looks at Logan from across the room…feeling a mixture of fear and love for her rescuer, but still not ready for him to be near her again.

'Yes, how indeed can I treat him like this?'

Swallowing hard, she reaches out to him, “She’s right…please come in.”

At first, he looks as if he wants to, but then his face hardens again. Instead of saying anything, he turns away…disappearing into the hall. Ororo’s face falls…I knew that my actions had hurt him terribly, but I had hoped that he…what did I really expect him to do? Logan had been let down by people that were supposed to care for him all his life, and the one person that he has given his heart to freezes up whenever he’s near. A tear falls and Rogue shakes her head, “This ain’t right…” and she gets up to run out the room. Remy stands there, not knowing what to say or do at this point, Ororo notices his uneasiness and smiles, “Please, don’t be afraid. I haven’t been able to get to know you before all this…can you tell me about yourself?”

“Ain’t nuthin’ ta’ say, chere…Remy plays cards ta’ get by, and hav’ been a t’ief for a while. Not pretty, n’est pas?”

“I was a thief at one point in time myself, so I understand. It was the Professor that brought me out of that.” Ororo supplies. They look at each other kind of awkwardly for a minute before, “I’m sorry, chere…Remy didn’t mean ta’ hav’ ‘dis happen ta’ ya’.”

Ororo looks at him and sees his jaw clench, “It wasn’t your fault…you didn’t know.” But the Cajun starts to pace, his temper rising, “I should’ve…a man came ta’ me in ‘da bar, asked me if I knew anyting’ ‘bout ‘da X-Men. Tol’ him I heard of ya’, but no’ting more ‘den ‘dat.” She thinks about this for a minute, “Do you remember who it was that asked you this?”

“Yeah, it was someone in ‘da military…had fatigues. Not ver’ nice and old.”

Ororo ponders this for a minute, “It had to be Stryker…that’s how he knew to use you.” Remy frowns again, “I’m real sorry, chere.”

She smiles, “You didn’t know what he was up to…we still don’t know what he’s up to…”

“Maybe Logan can find out?”

At the mention of that name, her face falls, “I don’t think he will…too much has happened.” Remy notices the change in her demeanor, “Why you say ‘dat? Logan stayed here for close to a month…watchin’ ova’ ya’. I t’ink he maybe in love witcha’,” he adds with a smile. But, it does nothing to change her face…she still looks as if she has lost something. Sighing again, she says in a low voice, “He may have been, but now…I think it has been one of the casualties here.”

Remy just looks on, not knowing what else to say to her…not having known her long enough to offer any more comfort than a sympathetic look. He stands there, waiting impatiently for Rogue to return…



“Logan, Logan….come back hea’!” she calls as she rushes down the hall after him. Logan walks faster, not wanting to have to explain himself anymore than necessary…if it wasn’t for her in the first place he would have been out of here!

“Look, kid…I ain’t got anythin’ more ta’ say. Ya’ know why she has been down here, and ya’ know why no one was sayin’ anythin’…now leave me alone. I’m here ta’ help her as much as she’ll let me, then I’m really gone!”

Rogue grabs his arm, “Ya’ can’t mean that? Ya’ love her!”

“Don’t matter…she don’t love me. Now, I’ll be ready when they need me fer anythin’, but until then…leave me the hell alone!” He jerks out of her grasp and heads back to the elevator, heading upstairs. Pissed, Rogue heads back into the room to get some answers…regardless of the situation.

She enters to see Remy looking out at an invisible spot on the floor and Ororo looking miserable. 'Good, maybe she should be!'

“What didya’ do ta’ him?! Why does he think that ya’ don’t care for him no more?! How can ya’ do this ta’ him?!” rails Rogue with her hands on her hips. Ororo looks at the defiant youth and wants to argue…say anything to take the blame off of her, but how can she? He didn’t do anything but love her…and rescue her from Creed. He warned her of the risks and she took them anyway, now that part of her blames him for it and it isn’t fair.

Steeling herself, she realizes that she has no answers for Rogue…no excuses for treating him like a rabid dog. 'Creed did this to her, not Logan…he couldn’t help this anymore than I could…'

'Stop making up excuses for that beast! HE DID THIS!!!! HE DEFILED YOU!!!!'

The thought stops there…staring at a raging Rogue brings a small bit of clarity. 'Logan didn’t rape me…it WAS Creed! I have been placing Logan’s face on him…needing to blame him for not protecting me…'

The wind-rider squares her shoulders before she speaks, “You’re right…I have been awful towards him. The only excuse I have is I have to fight some demons I inadvertently created to help me cope…and in the process, I have hurt the one person that would have died for me. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me for what I said or did, but he doesn’t deserve it. He was…is…my best friend.”

Rogue bites her tongue…this is not the time to berate her for her actions; they probably should have been expected. Instead, she comes over and takes Ororo’s hand. “I will probably never understand everythin’ ya’ had ta’ deal with, but I do know that that man would do anythin’ for ya’…he’d die befor’ he’d hurt ya’…” the young girl smiles then, “I love him, too…the hard-headed lug!”

“I know…” Ororo murmurs. Rogue gives her another hug and back away. “Well, this is a lot ta’ take in…I’ll let ya’ rest now.”

“You’re welcome to visit again…you too, Remy. But please…don’t tell anyone else what really happened…not yet.” Ororo asks and Rogue nods her head, “You can count on me.”

“Me too, mam’selle.” Remy adds. The woman known as Storm smiles at them both as they finally take their leave. Once they are out the room, she completely falls apart…sobbing helplessly. “Logan…mpenzi…I am so sorry, please…I am so sorry…”

Outside of the room, Rogue and Remy listen to her wailing…wishing there was something they could do. They walk back down the hall to the elevator…contemplating everything that they have just found out.

“Dear God…how could he…how can she?” stammers Rogue as the full impact of what happened hits her. Her shoulders begin to shake and tears fall hopelessly. Remy takes her in his arms and rocks her slowly, stroking her hair and repeating over and over that it’s okay in his deep Cajun brogue. “Now, chere….we can’t let everyone see ya’ bawlin’ or ‘dey will ask questions. She’s strong…she gon’ make it.”

“I know…but what about Logan? He thinks she hates him…” she cries and he holds her tighter. Remy looks down into her tear stained face, realizing only now how pretty she actually is. He stares at her for a moment, then he says “’Dey gon’ be okay…’dey just need ta’ talk…”

Rogue jerks up, a sudden idea coming to her, “You’re right…” She places a smart kiss on her hand and places it on his lips in excitement before realizing what she actually did, “That gives me a great idea, but it’s gonna take some time…c’mon!” she grabs his hands and pulls him up the stairs…a plan brewing in her active head. Remy shakes his head, wondering what it would be like to really kiss her...



A flaming Logan stomps into his room…slamming the door and throwing himself on the bed. Damn, it’s been a while since I’ve been in here! he thinks as he lets his eyes close. He hadn’t meant to speak to Rogue like that, but his temper hasn’t been the best lately. All of the anger he has had to release in the Danger Room has not calmed down at all. I need to find Creed…we definitely have something to settle now!

He stands, finally giving in but resisting to rest for the night. It seems a little strange that he’s up here instead of watching over Ororo, but she’s afraid of him now…can’t stand him near her and even though it’s ripping him in half, he won’t disturb her anymore than he has to. One of his fears was that she would see him as a raging beast and turn away from him…well, dammit if it didn’t happen!

He removes his jacket, throwing it across a chair before slowly removing the rest of his clothes. Once he’s naked, he moves into the bathroom to take a shower. He starts the water and jumps in, not waiting for the temperature to regulate itself. The water is actually soothing on his face as he tries to drown out his emotions for her…but it’s like trying to bite off an arm that’s stuck in a trap. His heart cries for her, his arms ache to hold her, and his body tightens at the possibility of joining with her…but how much of these hopes are just empty wishes?

As he closes his eyes, a call comes to him…

'Logan, you are needed in Medlab…'

'Can’t ya’ just leave me alone?'

Logan sighs and quickly finishes his shower. He jumps out, drying off quickly and throwing on a pair of sweat pants before he runs out the room. 'This had better be important…'

He reaches the lab and sees Xavier and Jean there…Hank is nowhere to be found. “I see she’s thrown out everyone that looks like a beast…”

“Not funny, Logan…she wants to see you.” Jean says and Logan’s brow rises.

“Yer kiddin’, right?”

“No, she asked to see us first…but she wants to see you. Something about Rogue’s visit earlier…”

Damn! “Well, I’m sorry I spilled what was goin’ on…ya’ can tell ‘Ro I won’t say anythin’ else…”

“Cut it out, will you?! She wants to talk to you, why can’t you just accept that?” Jean argues, but is almost put in her place when Logan whirls on her. “I won’t put myself in a position ta’ be accused of what that fucker did again! I’m not gonna continue ta’ scare her either jus’ because ya’ think that we should be ta’gether! That’s over!!!” he yells and he spins around to walk out the door, when Xavier’s calm voice speaks to him.

“Logan, she really did ask for you. The least you can do is talk to her…maybe this will help her to heal…”

He stops for a minute, remembering the deal they made for him to stay. He doesn’t mean to come off so hard, but it’s protecting him from anymore hurt, better to be the old hard-ass Logan than that fucking pansy-ass “man” that was falling in love…fell in love! “Okay, Chuck…as long as we still have that agreement.”

“Yes…we do. Please…”

“Alright…” Logan turns back to the small room and walks over. Jean comes up next to the Professor once he enters, “What agreement?”

“That once he has helped Ororo, he can leave…”

Jean’s jaw drops, “What?! How could you agree to that?!”

“It was the only way I could get him to stay…otherwise he would’ve gone through both me and Henry to leave. He’s in too much pain right now to try to convince him that it’s a mistake to walk away, so I had to agree…for now.”

“This isn’t good…if he’s only here to get her better, it’ll do more damage to her once it’s done! She might think that he’s here because he still loves her…” Jean exclaims as Xavier lowers his head.

“He does still love her…but let’s get her well first, mentally and physically. We will deal with Logan’s desire to leave later…”

Jean snorts, “How can we deal with that later? It’s going to be part of it! Her mental stability may hinge on the fact that they love each other…how do you think she would react if the feelings aren’t there? She loves him so desperately…it’s killing her that this damn fear of hers is keeping them apart! She doesn’t want to lose him like she did Forge.”

Xavier is silent…'Maybe I was a bit hasty in this? Maybe I should have thought more about Logan…'



Logan stands in the doorway…torn between walking in and going back to his room. He wasn’t lying when he had said it hurt to breathe around her…his chest tightens from looking at her. She’s still thin, but that has never changed how beautiful she is. She’s propped up in the bed, and her eyes are closed…

“Damn, ‘Ro…” he whispers.

Her eyes open and look in the direction of the sound. His gaze catches hers and they share another awkward moment. Preparing himself for another attack, he asks, “You wanna see me?”

Ororo waits a moment, then says, “Yes, please come in.”

Not sure what to do…he steps just inside the door, waiting for her to speak. She waves a hand, “Please, come in closer…I won’t hurt you.” His heart lurches at those words, but he still can’t trust it…he walks over to her, but stands about a foot away from the bed.

“Okay, I’m here…” he says.

Ororo stares at his bare chest, remembering how soft it felt to touch it, how firm it was against her. His body is beautiful, and an urge that terrifies her runs through her veins. She looks into his face and is shocked that she can see him completely…and he’s gorgeous! Determined to fight her fears, she starts to talk, “I know I have hurt you by what I’ve said and done lately…so, I want to apologize. You saved me from a fate worse than death and all I could do is blame you…I’m so sorry.”

She waits…for what she doesn’t know…

Logan didn’t expect to hear this from her and that thing he has been suppressing called “hope” bounces up and down within him…maybe…

'No…you ain’t that fuckin’ lucky!'

“It’s okay…I get it and thanks for the apology. I’ll help you the best way I know how…if you’ll let me,” he replies. That hope kicks him in the back of his head…you ass, you KNOW what the hell she wants to hear!

Ororo smiles, her heart plummeting…she had wanted to hear her special name…koibito…once again. But, by looking at the confusion and uncertainty in his face…maybe it was too much to ask for…

'One step at a time…'Xavier told her. This is going to take one step at a time.

Logan tries to give her a smile, but it comes out almost like a smirk. “Look, I’ll letcha rest. Just let me know if ya’ need me for anythin’.” Ororo nods, wishing that everything could go back to the way it was before all this…when he loved and desired her, before she was afraid of that passion. He turns to leave, but she stops him, “Logan…”

“Yeah?”

I can’t say it yet…he won’t believe me… “Goodnight…”

He sighs, “G’night, ‘Ro.” Then, he’s gone. He walks brusquely past Jean and Xavier…straight out the lab and back up stairs to his room. Jean goes into the room to check on Ororo, seeing that she’s in tears again. “Oh, ‘Ro…what happened?”

She waits for Jean to come sit by her before she says anything. Wiping her eyes, Ororo looks into Jean’s with complete hopelessness shadowed in her blue depths. “He accepted my apology, but he wouldn’t say anything more than that. He told me to let me know if I needed him for anything, but what I need him for I don’t think he’ll give me anymore…or that he even has it to give.”

“You have to give him time as well…this affected him as badly as it did you. In a way, he was violated heinously…the woman he loves used in despicable ways. He feels he failed you…”

“And when all he was trying to do is help me and let me know he still loves me, I freak-out and blame him for Creed…raping me.” She throws her head back against the pillows, “How can he stand to be near me? How could I even think he would do that to me?”

“Fear is a hard thing to break…especially if it is ingrained the way it was with you. Time, patience, and understanding are what is needed…for the both of you.” Jean explains and Ororo smirks, “Now, when has Logan ever been patient?”

Jean giggles, “When he was waiting for you to awaken…”

That sobered the Nubian goddess…closing her eyes, she says, “Can you ask Logan to come tomorrow…I want to walk.”

“Are you sure?’”

Her eyes open again, “I want to walk and he’s the only one that can help me. Also, could you find Hank for me? I need to apologize to him, too.”

“’Ro…” starts Jean but is cut off, “I am tired of being a sorry-for-myself invalid! I have pushed away the people who understand me the most…especially one that I love dearly. This can’t go on! Creed will not win!” she says emphatically.

Jean smiles, “That’s my girl…I’ll get Hank at once…”

Ororo watches as her friend jumps up to leave…fear gripping her once more. If she is going to make things right between her and Logan, she’s going to have to toughen up…

Just like her beloved Wolverine…



An annoying dripping can be heard on the interior of the cave where Ororo was found…little pools of blood splattered around the ground. Just in front of the battered mattress still sits four rusty posts, drilled down into the hard ground…blood surrounding them. Sitting in a chair not too far away, is Victor Creed…still nursing the gaping holes given to him from an infuriated Wolverine.

It has been over a month, over a month since that damn Logan came and took his new frail away…

'God, was she a tasty piece of ass!'

Creed still flinches as he remembers how good it felt to be deep within her…but now, everything has gone straight to hell. It has taken this long for him to even begin to heal from those posts that Logan had driven into his arms and legs…it was a pain he wouldn’t soon forgive or forget to give back in as much the same way.
'Bastard thinks he’s got the best of me…well….' Creed snarls, the only thing that is going in his favor right now is that Stryker doesn’t know anything about what happened in the cave…actually, it didn’t really mattered if he did. All the bastard knows now is that he wants her back…and it’s up to Creed to figure out a way to re-capture the subject. Now, Creed wants her back as much as Stryker does, but not because he wants to get back at Logan anymore, although that is a good motivator…

No, he wants her; well, because he fuckin’ wants her back…that’s enough of an explanation as he needs to give. He looks at the holes that are slowly healing in his wrists…cursing that runt for the bastard he is.

Once he was able to get free from being pinned down, Creed contacted Stryker to let him know that Logan had come to take the subject back…effectively leaving out the fact that he had raped her violently for close to a day before Logan showed up. Smiling, he remembers that the Colonel gave him the time he needed to recover before trying again…this experiment meaning too damn much to him to just forget about.

'Hell, wouldn’t it be a kick if she was already knocked up…from my seed! Stryker would have a fit, but he would have the cross-breed mutant he was looking for.' He could tell him that it was Logan’s…he wouldn’t know the difference, would he?

'DNA, dumbass!;

'Okay, but still what he wanted to create would be created, right?' He heads out into the forest to a nearby stream to get cleaned up…he hadn’t been out here since he first brought her here…

'Didn’t want to leave her…literally.'

The beast-like mutant chortles, He’s probably beside himself now…can’t stand the scent on her! The laughing gets louder as he washes off and heads back in. He looks around the cave, still smelling the faint scent of her in the corners of the cave. He’s not one to be sentimental, but she did have an interesting scent…some kind of flower, but damned if he could tell you what it was.

This place just seems emptier without her…

Time to do something about that…

The only way to get her back is through the connections that Stryker has. Now that she has been taken once, those X-Men are gonna be guarding her like she was Fort Knox, still not knowing what exactly the old coot wants with her.

Wraith can do it… he thinks. The one to get through those defenses would be Wraith since he can teleport, but how would he be able to do that without alerting the mansion to his presence?

Well, he can come up with the details…I came up with the plan…

It’s crazy how he can come up with such plans and the alternates to it…but he has to make sure that Stryker doesn’t interfere. Sabretooth decides to let him have her for the short while it’s gonna take to produce that damn offspring…having seen the equipment they plan to use, he figures that the gestation period won’t be too long. But, eventually he’s going to have to let her go, she’s gonna be used up…and to what better person should she come to but him? I ain’t picky…I can take leftovers!

He’s the closest to Logan in temperament, if not size…and he’s generally better than Logan anyhow…

She can make the adjustment…she has before, maybe not all that willingly, but is she really gonna have a choice?!

He frowns, as he remembers the words Stryker was saying to the doctor in the compound…that his DNA wasn’t what he was looking for. Just for that, he wishes that she is carrying his bastard…just to completely destroy Stryker’s hopes for his “perfect” little soldier. How dare he even begin to think that Logan is better than me? I’m stronger, faster, bigger than that runt could ever be…

'It…will…always…be…Logan…'

He growls as the whispered words from that bitch comes back to him…NEVER!!!! He’ll never be better than me! he vows. Prematurely smug, he gathers his stuff together and heads for Alkali Lake…his mind still imagining that Nubian weather goddess back in his clutches.