The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Chapter Eleven (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply

A/N Goddess Foxfeather, Queen of Mad Plotbunnies, BUSIEST WOMAN ALIVE ™, Prophetic Muse, Hamster Witch and Uberbeta… ONE WEEK! *squeees * InterNutter, TC, Maxwell Pink and Dracena are extra sparkled for archiving/hosting! ProPhile is a loverly smutmuse who gets extra gold stars and Morgan gets a glomp for being an assistant smutmuse. ;) Readers/Reviewers: THANU!!!U!!!! And Killer Kitty ™ kisses for all of you… Just watch their claws. Sneaky things…

Jamie closed his eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that when he looked, everyone would be gone and it would all be one long, horrible, embarrassing dream. “Nope,” he whispered to himself as he opened his eyes again, seeing Scott trundle in, looking dour, and take a seat opposite him on the neatly laid carpet scraps on the basement floor. Jono rose from his spot in the corner and ghosted towards them, a living shadow seeping light through thin bandages. “Jono,” Jamie gasped hopefully. “If we’re in your way, just tell us to move…”
_*Nah, _* he said immediately. _*I think this little hen party might be interesting… Shove over, Summers. You’re in my spot. _*
Scott raised a brow. “I didn’t see your name here,” he said kindly. “And until you label every carpet scrap down here with your name, you don’t have a spot.”
Lance snorted, his goodwill buzz from earlier fading into a dull headache and deep craving for ice water. Todd sat next to him, sulking, his head bent over drawn up knees. “Cut it out, girls,” Lance said sternly to Scott and Jono, unable to keep the tone for long. “You two have the pissing contest later. Where’s Kurt so we can get started on educating this poor boy?”
“I saw a movie that started like that once,” St John smirked.
Jamie groaned. “I want to go to bed now…” He pinched the bridge of his nose in tired consternation. “Lance, this isn’t a funny joke, okay? Just… stop it. I want to go.”
Lance raised a brow and folded his arms across his chest. “ Jamie, all the books in the world are no match for actual experience. And between the lot of us, we’ve got more experience than Masters and Johnson1 ever thought of,” he finished in gross overstatement.
Kurt chose that moment to appear, fully dressed as if he were going somewhere off grounds, his hated shoes clutched tightly in one hand. “Was ist das? I found a note from Lance on my bed and…” He paused, taking in the loose circle and Jamie’s scared expression. “Are you bullying him?” he demanded, tensing for a fight before he even realized he was doing so.
Lance sighed. “We’re educating him. The kid was trying to read The Joy of Sex for ideas on how to get Rahne all hot and bothered.”
“Please!” Jamie cried. “t tat talk about her like that!”
Todd’s muffled voice arose from somewhere within the depths of his sulk. “Women are fucking crazy, man. Every last one of them.” He lifted his head wearily and peered at Jamie. “ Don’t ever talk to ‘em, especially when they’re pissed. You’ll have your foot so far down your throat you’ll taste shoe for a month.”
Kurt sighed and dropped his footwear to come forward into the vague circle. “Look, Jamie, don’t feel like you have to do this just because you’re hormones are really going, okay?” He did not wait for Jamie to answer but instead pressed onward, his eyes focusing on some distant point that only he could see. “Making love is… well, just that. You don’t want to rush into it…”
“And just how long did you and Kitty wait?” Bobby inquired primly, knowing full and well the story of Kurt and Kitty’s first time. “And how much discretion did you show after that?”
Kurt made a rude gesture and instructed him to do something physically improbable, if not outright impossible. “Jamie, don’t let them intimidate you, okay? Promise me?”
Jamie nodded. “You aren’t going to stay?” he blurted, a pang of nervous terror springing forth at the idea that his one friend in this, his protector from the advice and ribald tales of the others, was going to leave him to the wolves, so to speak.
“Ah,” Kurt sighed and lowered his eyes. “Kitty’s father had a heart attack earlier today. She is going to Chicago to see him and I’m going with her.”
Lance coughed, chokin a n a hard candy. “After all that shit he did to her? To you? You’re gonna go see him laid up in the hospital? He’s a jackass, Kurt. Always has been, since the day I met him…”
Kurt shrugged. “Katzchen wishes it so, so I will go with her. I will not be back in time to go to Boston… Emma can manage without me, I think.” He sighed anew and bent to retrieve his shoes. “Jamie, don’t let them decide anything for you. Follow what’s in your heart and you’ll never go wrong.”
Coughing slightly in the faint sulfurous atmosphere that trailed Kurt’s wake, Jamie felt a new determination settle over him. He nodded to Lance. “Go on then, get it over with…” He sighed inwardly, adding to himself, _They didn’t decide this for me and it *is* what’s in my heart… it’s just getting it out there without making a moron out of myself that’s the problem. _
Lance smiled slowly and folded his hands in his lap, the very picture of nonchalance and grace. “Now, gentlemen,” he said with the bare hint of a laugh in his voice, “let the games begin.”
“Games?” Jamie yelped. “I don’t want to play games!”
Scott leaned back on his elbows and sighed. “It’s an expression. You know that, Jamie…” Turning his attention to Lance, he asked, “How long do you think this is going to take? Jean has a test tomorrow and I promised that I’d help her study for it.”
Lance rolled his eyes again and sighed. “Okay, hard part first. Jamie, do you have any questions? No? Okay, let’s get this started. I lost my virginity when I was thirteen…”
Jamie bit back a groan. Tonight, he knew, was going to be rough.

a/n Next chapter Rogue and Amara and a baby.
1 Famous for doing a multi year sex study, they were married (ironically now divorced) who followed the Kinsey study in finding out about the sex habits and practices of the average American.