Lust and Cookies

WhoreyLand, Washington.

Somewhere in the state of Washington, a large, old theme park lies. It was a normal and successful theme park, until somewhere at the nineties, the owner's wife ran off with the gardener and all of her husband's money and flied to Seychelles.

The owner soon went bankrupt as he couldn't sustain the place without the initial funds, and within days the place was deserted. Nobody offered to buy it, since it was on a somewhat distant area and nobody wanted to take the chance to invest on this place and bring it back to life. A few months ago, when Zazelle returned from France and had to create her headquarters in America, she bought the place with the money remaining from investments back at France, and turned it in a big red lights district, a place equal to a grown-up's Disneyland. Hence the name she gave it, WhoreyLand.

Soon, hopeless hookers came to live and work there, and clients were flowing from all over the world. The clients, being within the reach of Zazelle's gifts, somehow were always satisfied, and inevitably they always returned for more. But this wasn't enough for Zazelle, who needed to find large amounts of cash quickly, and therefore fund her plans for a celeb porn industry. She ended up robbing the Salem Centre Bank, as we already know.

In the middle of WhoreyLand, stood a big, impressive hotel, and this is where Zazelle lived. The rest of the place were homes for the employees, whorehouses, sex-shops, and all the relevant stuff.

In that hotel's lobby stood Zazelle's lackeys, Taser, Myth, Kujo, Melee, and Intoxicator. They all were immensely bored, as loud moans were heard from one of the many floors of the hotel.

"Dammit, she's up there with the feral guy since the moment we got back from the Xavier Institute. Why do we have to just stay down here and listen to them?", Myth protested.

"Do you have anything better in mind? I really don't think we can go out and visit the whorehouses now, can we?", it was Taser that answered back.

"After all, we can't visit the aforementioned houses. We're mercenaries and we have to remain professionals while being here. After all, as soon as she loads up her sex-battery, we will be loaded with huge amount of cash. She has told you about her celeb-porn plans, right?", Intoxicator put some reason in their minds.

"Guys, as Monty Pythons said, always look at the bright side of . We. We'll soon be as rich as we can get, plus Captain Shit is not here to fill the place with his stink anymore", it was Melee who finally put an end to the conversation. Everyone nodded to him.

The growls, moans and screams upstairs were so loud that Zazelle's mercenaries barely heard the sound of a jet-like thing landing on the mud outside.

"What the hell was that sound?" Taser exclaimed.

"I didn't fart", was all that Kujo had to comment.

"Maybe Big Bertha squished a client again", Intoxicator tried to offer an explanation.

"Big Bertha in on a break today. Went to visit her frat sisters in New York. Maybe we should check-"

Right then, the main door broke off its hinges and Beast stepped in. Right behind him, entered Storm, Cyclops, Phoenix, Iceman, Sweetheart and Rogue.

Cyclops, leader of the X-Men, was the one to talk before the battle began: "Remember X-Men, the first time, they only won because they caught us by surprise. Now you can show them what exactly our potential is."

And the battle began.

Myth thought of taking the highly successful form of Nessie again, but they were indoors and she wouldn't fit in the hotel lobby. He instead took the form of a Hydra with 9 heads." Thank God for that Greek Mythology encyclopaedia I found at the basement", he thought before grabbing Rogue by the arm with one of its 9 mouths.

But then Sweetheart started stuffing his mouths with hot, burning chocolate.

As the Hydra opened his mouths to yell, Rogue was set free and instantly flew over to the Intoxicator, kicking his head on-air, sending him flying to a painting hang on the wall, depicting some prostitutes with their eyes being where the mouth should be, and their ears hanging from the chin. The painting had no chance against the huge mass of Intoxicator.


Cyclops started shooting beams at the Hydra's heads while Jean telekinetically blocked every single electric bolt of Taser's.
man man had a one-on-one with Melee and his dual chainsaws, while Beast was giving a painful payback to Kujo.

Right outside the building, Jubilee talked to Dave: "I think that anytime now you will have to make your way in there. Remember, you're the only one who stands a chance against Zazelle now, and you surely wouldn't stand one tiny little chance against her lackeys. That's why the guys are distracting them now, so that you will make your wastaistairs and spoil your sister's party. Can you handle it?"

"Yeah, like I can back out now. Jeez, Jubilee. I have to give it a chance. Just promise me one thing; as soon as you finish those guys off, DON’T come upstairs to assist me. She will take control of you and make it all the more difficult.

"Good luck, baby» she said, and gave him a quick, friendly kiss on the lips. But she found out she couldn't resist his emerald green eyes and blonde short-cropped hair (that's how he looked like to her eyes),so she also slipped him the tongue a little.

"Hey!" he protested. "You're underage! I can get arrested for this!"

"They would have to arrest half of the whole WhoreyLand before getting to you", she said, flashing him a grin.

Dave smiled back at her and then looked through the window. "Shit! A big Hydra thing is blocking the way to the stairs! How can I get through this?"

"Let me lead the way, cutie," Jubilee said, and bolted in the building, Dave running straight behind her.

As she entered the hotel lobby, Jubilee raised her hands and did her light tricks to dazzle the Hydra. With all of the monster's heads looking at her, but the light never allowing them to see Dave, who was running right behind her, Dave crawled under Jubilee's legs(and she had to fiercely fight back the urge to ride him while doing that) and kept crawling under the Hydra's legs, now being in grave danger if the monster was knocked out and fell on top of him.

Using these thoughts to force himself crawl faster, he reached to the other side under Hydra's body, dodged his tail as it hovered around with no specific direction, and climbed up the stairs ahead of him. As he climbed the stairs, he realised that he didn't knew in which room he would find his sister and the not really unfortunate Wolverine.

[She's at the VIP Suite, last floor, darling. I can pick up tons of happy thoughts out of that room], he heard the voice of Jean inside his head.

He climbed the stairs quickly, since he didn't feel like trusting the ancient elevator available.

***************************************************************

Dave bolted in the last floor's suite and gasped at the sight, although he should have expected he would catch Logan and Zazelle red-handed.

"Shit! You again?" Zazelle yelled at him, and put something on her, although that something(a serougrough bathrobe) didn't really cover anything.» Why ou hou have to always mess things up for me?» she kept yelling.

Dave glanced a quick look at Logan, who lied on the bed. He was so drained that he wouldn't be much help in the next few minutes. Supposing his healing factor would soon bring him into full consciousness, Dave only had those few minutes to kick his sister's ass for good.

"I'm freaking talking to you, dammit! Or you just burst in here to get an eye candy? Logan here won't object to give you some too, I have him under full control here. "She grinned.

"Oh shut up! That's it Zazelle! You always made the other's lives a hell in order to show off, but you should have expected that mentality would eventually turn back at you! So here I am! You can't control *me*, and your powers are only restricted on sexual manipulation, so you can't have Logan here gut me. Can't you finally see you're finally going down, head first?"


"I spent the last hours having sex with this sexual powerhouse" she said, pointing at Logan,» and now I can feel the power flowing through me, I am practically omnipotent! I can use my powers and put everyone in this hotel out of use for an amount of time that will allow me to get away. I can't use my gifts to put you out of the picture, but I can use my bare fists to do it. It’s about time we see who the more powerful is in this family, after all."

"Oh yeah? Go ahead, bitch. Make my day", Dave responded and Zazelle bolted at him.

Slamming him on the chest, Dave fell hard on the filthy floor (Zazelle was never much ohoushousehold, you see.)

Zazelle used her height advantage to kick her brother at the sides, using as much of her high-heels(which she wore even at bed)as she could, to make it more painful.

Dave eventually grabbed her foot and pushed her back, making her fall on the bed, next to a totally drained Logan, on her back.

As Dave fell on her and started slapping her (he couldn't punch a girl, you see),she started searching with her free hand for something behind her to hit him.

After 23 slaps on the cheeks, she managed to grab a huge vibrator and hit Dave on the head with it. He fell to his side, brushing on Logan's naked body. "Aw, sorry", he tried to mumble, but Zazelle hit him again with the superhumanly huge vibrator and he fell off the bed, his ass hitting on the hard floor.

He grabbed another huge vibrator as he rolled to the far side of Zazelle's direction, and stood up.

Zazelle neared him, her vibrator in her hands, and they started swordfighting with the vibrators.

They crossed swords (sorry, dildos) many times during the fight, and nobody managed to overpower the other. Dave was certainly stronger at close combat than Zazelle, but she seemed to be an expert in handling vibrators, so she made up for the strength handicap that way. They were equal.

As Zazelle used her quick reflexes to overpower Dave and have him with his back against the wall, she flashed an arrogant grin, knowing that she was close to victory.


Trapped against the wall, Dave realised that his vibrator had an advantage the other one hadn’t. It had a small button at the base. It could shoot fake sperm.

As Zazelle raised her vibrator for the final strike, he pressed the tiny button, and a handful of milk shot out of the vibrator and hit her at the eyes. She staggered back, rubbing her eyes, her vibrator falling on the floor.

Dave pointed his controversial weapon towards Zazelle. "Finally, we learned who is the best in a one-to-one fight. I hope you can handle the idea of losing, sister.", he said in triumph.

"But what about in a two-to-one fight, little shithead?" a new voice echoed in his ears. Lance, Zazelle's ex-thug and now sex-slave, came out of the closet he was hiding up to then, from where he eavesdropped the live Wolverine-Zazelle action. Zazelle smiled at Lance and stood by his side, both ready to attack an outnumbered Dave, who began to panic, and raised his weapon defensively.

Lance was the first to bolt himself towards Dave, but accidentally(for him),he slipped on the huge vibrator Zazelle had lost out of her own hands before. He rolled on the vibrator screaming for help, and finally fell towards the huge window, smashing through its glass and falling off the 6th floor, to his doom.

"Too bad", Dave mumbled mockingly and pointed his vibrator to Zazelle once more. "You lost, Zazelle. Under other circumstances, I would give you the chance to surrender, but as soon as you will be able to, you will use your powers on my friends and get away again."

"So, what, are you going to kill me?", she stood before him, a harsh, proud look glancing to him.

"No, but I will make sure you won't be any trouble before we get you someplace where your gifts will be confined», he shot back at her, raising his vibrator menacingly.

"NO! Not in the face!» she screamed, but Dave hit her on the back of the head instead, rendering her unconscious.

"Good show, kid!», was Logan's comments after the final strike.

"What-have you been playing unconscious the whole time?", Dave yelled, surprise showing in his voice.

"Yup. No point in trying to help you, anyway. She would have taken control of me again", he said, pointing at Zazelle's unconscious body. "I would try to help if you screwed up, however. She would have been so happy that she kicked your sorry ass, that I would have caught her off-guard", he grinned.

"Okay. Now put something on you, and help me carry her out of here." Dave said, cocking his head towards Zazelle.

"Nor can do. The crazed nympho ripped off all of my clothes, and all I can see in here are see-through baby-dolls. Yours are the only male cloths I can see in here."

"Hey, back off! I caly gly give you my pants. For the rest of clothing you will have to suffice with something of my sister's."

***************************************************************

The X-Men rested victoriously on the limp bodies of their long-beaten enemies, as they saw Logan and Dave coming down the stairs, Logan carrying Zazelle on his shoulders. They all noticed that Logan was clad in a normal pair of blue jeans and a girly pink leather coat, while Dave was normally clothed, with the exception that his pants were missing, revealing his loose powder blue boxers.

Rogue grinned evilly.» Did something happen up there that we all should know of?"

"Shaddup, kid", was Wolverine's irritated response.


***************************************************************

Bobby Drake was lying on his bed, thinking over the events of the last few days.


A week had passed since the payback at the WhoreyLand hotel, and everything had calmed down at the Xavier Institute. When the professor returned from Europe, he was happy to express his opinion that with a little psychological therapy which he would telepathically provide, Zazelle could change her ways of thinking and maybe eventually turn to the light side of superheroing. He said that what her actions showed was not something really evil, but closer to the Chaotic Neutral side, if we spoke in D&D terms.
Zazelle also agreed, saying that she would prefer to be a good-mannered superhero for free than staying even a little more in that power-disabling cage they had put her in. She also said that she had to have sex once in a while(once a day was actually what she meant)or else she would grow so weak she might even die.
Logan, being the do-gooder he always was, sacrificed himself and now keeps her occupied once a day (sometimes twice, if he feels grateful), at least for as long as she will remain in that cell. Xavier said she would spend quite a long time in there yet before they could be sure she is fully converted.


Dave didn't leave the mansion after all was over, as he continuously had mentioned he would.
He said he would be useful there as long as his sister would be in that cell. He added that being the only one immune of her powers, he should stay there, just in case, until further notice.
Xavier saw through the guy's excuses, realised that all he wanted was to stay with the X-Men, and just gave him a job aserraerrand boy in the mansion, so that he could stay as long as he wanted.
The X-Women were very satisfied by this outcome.

As for Paula...well, she was sleeping right beside him. After Zazelle's capture, she was a little pissed off at having to live in the same area as her, but quickly her anger subsided, since she was occupying herself with Bobby more than anyone else in there. So, she was happy to be with him after all. She even started talking to Dave and found out he didn't have a very good opinion of his sister as well. Now they were good friends, but still she didn't seem really attracted to his illusional good looks. Nobody knows why.

Bobby was tired of all this complex thinking. He rolled over to Paula's side, putting a protective hand above her arms, and drifted to sleep, his face buried in the familiar warmness of her shoulder.



~THE END~


You really went through all of it? Well Done! Now quit whatever you intended to do, and send me feedback! PUH-LEAAASE?

P.S. You can also give me some ideas about what to do with the slutty mutant in possible sequels...I just feel like she's got some potential for further funny situations. You know the e-m;-) ;-)