When Nerds Collide

Frostyflake Zapperwiz was being stalked. He knew it. He hated going up against Scout types. And Noobkiller Sneakypants was the worst sort. He was a griefer. Noobkiller would just..keep coming and coming until he had all your money and all your dignity. It was a good thing he was on Frosty's side.

But they were in the Arena now. All bets were off. Frosty buffed up as quickly as he could, ready for a beatdown. Only problem was he couldn't use his totems here. He'd sure love to see stealth. But alas...He was without. He'd have to work on instinct alone.

Frosty quickly cast his invisibility, then darted out into the maze that made up the arena. He knew he was being tracked. Noob always knew how to find him. Said he was too predictable.

And he was. It was so sudden. He was stunlocked, couldn't move, couldn't cast...couldn't do anything but let it happen. He watched his life drain away as Noobkiller had his wicked way with him. Oh, and when it was over..the bastard tea-bagged him. Fuckin' asshole.

"Dude...wait...what?" Bobby, aka Frostyflake Zapperwiz, frowned as he looked at the computer screen, "Oh...that's just...that's just cold...God damn it, Remy...you killed me again..I wasn't ready!"

Behind him, Remy, aka Noobkill Sneakypants, snickered, "Hey, s'only fair, mon ami...you nailed Remy when he not lookin'...plus..you was off de pedastal..."

Bobby pouted for a long time, then glanced back at the Cajun, "So..how long are we gonna be playing this time waster?"

Remy shrugged, "Dunno...was hopin' t' hit de bars t'night..might still do it if Whezzia don' get on...Swear t' god...he say we de reason de guild fallin' apart, but I t'ink it him...he has all dis stuff planned n' what not, den he just..up n' disappears.. I unnerstand he got real life shit t' deal wit', but c'mon now..."

Chuckling, Bobby sat back, then sighed again, "Ah, it's just a game...Hey...I'm gonna log off n' go get something to eat..." He paused, "Fucker...I'm never playing EQ2 with you again. Ever...We're the same class, same level...and you're still kicking my ass...why is that?"

Remy shut the damned game off, then stood and stretched, "Let's go nab us some grub..wanna stay in or go out? Remy's treat if it's out..."
He watched Bobby as the man shut his computer down, then disconnected it from the router. He rather enjoyed their play time...though, they didn't have a whole lot of it lately.

Bobby smirked, "Out...since you're buying." He winked at the Cajun, then shoved his laptop into it's special carrier and moved up to the Cajun. He ran a hand down Remy's arm, "Given any thought to what I asked a couple days ago?"

Remy took Bobby's hand in his, removing it from his arm, but he didn't let go. He laced his fingers with the Iceman's and smirked, "Lotta thought, cher...n' de way you asked was kinna cute...namin' a toon Willubmybf...never had anyone ask like dat..."

That made Bobby blush...and it had been kinda sweet, or so he thought...Remy seemed to agree. Taking a chance, he moved closer to the other man, then leaned up and kissed him.

Remy returned the kiss and cupped the side of Bobby's face with his free hand, "Y' know...we can just skip dinner all t'gether, right?"

Bobby poked the Cajun in the chest, "You just don't wanna have to pay the bill at McDonalds..." THat earned him a snort from the Cajun and then a sigh. Bobby wrapped his arms around Remy's waist and nipped at the man's chin, "Let's go get food...then come back...talk, screw...whatever...I just wanna be with you...told you that from the beginning."

Remy nodded and looped his arms around Bobby's neck, "Oui...I know, cher...N'...t'ink I'm ready...y' know...it's...been awhile since Remy was wit' anybody special...so yeah...m' ready..." He kissed Bobby tenderly, then pulled away to grab his zippered hoodie that had been carelessly draped over his desk chair.

Watching as Remy put the hoodie on, Bobby moved toward the door. He took a moment to look the man over. He wasn't quite sure why he wanted to be with Remy, but...it was just one of those things. It felt...cosmetically? No, wait...Cosmically right. There we go. College education for the win. He didn't necessarily love Remy, well, he did...but he didn't. He wanted to. He wanted to fall in love with the man..They'd get there one day...

So far, they're whole relationship had been pretty much just...casual flirting, the occasionally hand holding, kissing, snuggling on the couch or on the bed. Nothing sexual. Bobby wasn't entirely ready for that. He was now though...He was just waiting for Remy to catch up.

Remy had been with men before, Bobby hadn't. Remy had had very few meaningful relationships, Bobby had a couple under his belt. Sort of.

When Remy was ready, he grabbed his keys and wallet, then beat Bobby to the door and started down the hall, not waiting for the Iceman. Bobby snorted and jogged a bit to catch up to him, "So...where we going? And you're sure they're not gonna miss us at the raid, right? I mean...there's some sick loot that drops there n' I need it. It's my dispersion gear. I need it. I neeed it. I neeed it badly."

Remy chuckled, "Don' worry bout it, cher... we gon' go back dere next week..n' y' know it take Utgard like...an hour t'set up dem fuckin' raids. Slow ass german fucker."

Bobby smiled, "What about Whezzia? He's even slower, I think. The last raid we were on, we sat on the East Freeport Docks for like an hour...That pissed me off. I really wish he'd get his act together."

"Well, Ruse n' Catt need t' quit startin' drama. I swear...dat guild like bein' in HighSchool all over again. Drama every god damned day." Remy shook his head and made for the stairs. It was rather aggrivating. He played the game to relax...not babysit.

The conversation continued as they made for the garage. Opting for Bobby's car, both men got in. It was fuckin' cold out. At least as far as Remy was concerned it was. He hated the cold, but man, did he love Bobby.

A short car ride and a rather nasty fight later, the arrived at the local eatery. Remy pouted at Bobby as they got out, "Dat wasn' my fault. Y' f'got y' Manashield. I ain' a healer, Bobby...n' had y' been wit' us last night..y' woulda got y' Amulet."

Bobby shook his head and glared at the cajun, "You shoulda told me Lewer was gonna run Vaults. I woulda gone. Hell, I'm the only one with a Master 1 Root at level 80 in that fucking guild. YOu know..I think we should just leave."

Remy sighed and smiled at Bobby, going up to the door. He held it open for the man. "We should. Been lookin' around. Dirtnapper wants us t' come over to From the Ashes wit' him."

Bobby slipped through the door, then looked around. It was a ghost town...But then again, it was like...10pm on a Thursday. He glanced at Remy and yawned, "Yeah, I see them out alot. Maybe we should move with him. Just take all our toons outta Eulogy and move them over to From the Ashes. I know the leader, Kai. She's a pretty cool chick. Fiesty."

Remy snorted, "Yeah. Let's find a seat, eh? Remy starvin'."

Rolling his eyes, Bobby took Remy's hand in his own, "You're always starving. Hell, you went through half my stash in like a night last week." He led his...well his friend. THey hadn't really talked about...starting anything just yet. Bobby kept telling himself to give it time...but...whenever he'd get close to the cajun, Remy usually pushed him away...or freaked out.

They found a seat in a booth near the bathrooms. Remy climbed in and sat down with a yawn. He looked at Bobby, then smiled, "I...I t'ink we should make things official."

Bobby looked at him when he got comfortable, "What?"

"Our...thing...Y' know..make it...official."

"Official? Oh...yeah...yeah...definitely.I mean...we've...we've been skating around the issue for awhile now."

Remy nodded, "Oui. So. We..boyfriends then?"

Bobby grinned, "You don't ask people out much...do you?"

That earned a blush from the Cajun. "Non."

Chuckling, Bobby leaned across the table and caught Remy's lips in a kiss, "We're boyfriends. And you know what...? We are so fucking sexy together...They'll be so jealous. Everybody will. They'll be all like...'OMG...Bobby n' Remy are so fucking sexy..'"

Remy blushed, but he did return Bobby's kiss. He was right too. They were fucking sexy together.

Soon enough, a waitress came their way and they ordered their usual food. For Bobby it was a shit load of carbs and soda. Oooh...and the shake. He had to have the chocolate shake. Had to. Mandatory, that was.

Remy, on the otherhand, ordered a lot of rabbit food. Salad, cole slaw, tea....was he on a diet? Remy was too freakin' skinny.

Bobby looked at his boyfriend. Hah...boyfriend. Awesome. He raised a brow, "What's with all the rabbit food?"

Remy looked up at Bobby, then shrugged, "Wanna get healthy. Figured Remy try de sorta vegetarian t'ing for a lil while."

Bobby snorted, "That's gonna last awhile. Logan's doin' his BBQ thing tomorrow...for someone's birthday. Who's birthday is tomorrow?"

"Mine."

"Yours?"

"Oui."

"Shit...I...wow. I totally didn't know that. I'm sorry. I shoulda...God, I feel like an ass now." Bobby pouted, then sighed, "How...How old are you?"

Remy smiled at him, "I'll be twenty-seven, cher. Or dere abouts. I just go off de day dat m' Papa adopted me."

Conversation continued...then ebbed off when the food came. Both men ate their fill...Then Remy got sort of...sad. He looked like a kicked puppy. Bobby reached over and took Remy's hand, "What's wrong, babe?"

Remy pointed up, toward the speaker. Some Keith Urban song had played. He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair, "Dat song always makes me sad."

Bobby nodded, then grinned, "They we'll just have to listen to Holla Back Girl in the car. That song always makes me feel good."

Remy gave Bobby an incredulous look, "What the fuck meds are you on, cher?" He sat back and started laughing...softly at first... He covered his mouth and laughed harder, imagining his boyfriend jamming out to Gwen Stefani.

Bobby grinned at him, "Hey...I like shitty music. It's okay."

"Oui, guess y' do. What happened t' all de...what did y' call it? Death metal? Can' remember de name o' de bands y' like..."

Bobby sighed and sat back, "Oh...jeeze...let's see...Blood Runs Bitter, Blasphemous Ascent....I like mainstream bands, but most of the stuff I listen to are all local bands. Gotta support them. Oh, God Forbid is good too."

Remy raised a brow, "Wow. I'll stick t' Toby Keith n' Alan Jackson, thank y' very much." He got a look from Bobby, then grinned, "Nah, but seriously...I t'ink I just stick t' what I usually listen to...Y' know...Kanye...Fitty-Cent...stuff like dat. Common....Oooh...Like Pink too. She's hot. N' she sing perty."

Nodding in agreement, Bobby smiled, "And you say I have weird tastes."

The waitress, who's name was Betty, came by , smiled, and dropped off their check. Remy snatched it up before Bobby could and looked at it, then at Bobby, then back at the check. He smiled and pulled out his wallet, then yawned. Eventually, he pulled out a 20 and a 5 and three 1's. There. Dinner and tip. He laid that all on the table, then got up and stretched, "Let's get home, eh? We sleepin' in y' room or mine?"

Bobby slid out of the booth and shrugged, "Yours...Your bed is bigger than mine...n' you got softer pillows."

Remy smiled and held his hand out to the other. When Bobby took it, he led them out of the diner. "You freeze me again while y' sleepin'...I'll bust y' dick off."

Bobby snorted, then stuck his tongue out, "I'll just refreeze it back. Asshole."

To be Continued...


Will Frostyflake finally get the best of Noobkiller? Stay tuned, true believers!*

Author's Note: I thought the Names were funny.

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* True Believers: Something Stan Lee likes to call the fans of his comics.