The Road to Recovery

Title: The Road to Recovery

Author: Henrika

Rating: Mature/NC-17

Fandom: X-men movieverse, X1 continuity only.

Summary: Sequel to "Prisoner #0001" which can also be found here. Magneto's life after he's
rescued by Xavier and the X-men. Mature themes.

Feedback: ...is much desired! :)


Chapter I

Erik Lehnsherr lay staring up at the ceiling. The room around him was dark and quiet save for
the faint sounds of his own and Charles' breaths. Well, maybe the telepath's breathing was a
bit noisier than his. Charles was, after all, stuck with a seemingly tenacious chest infection.

They had gone to bed a few hours ago, and while Charles had managed to go to sleep just fine
despite his illness, Erik was not afforded the same luxury. He'd had another one of his
horrific, persistent nightmares shortly after dozing off, and here he lay, unable to sleep or do
anything, for that matter. The mutant did not even want to close his eyes. Whenever he did
that, the image of Laurio's sneering face appeared behind his closed eyelids to taunt him.

Why was it that every little sound seemed so much stronger in the dark? Erik could, without
difficulties, hear even the faint sound of his own blinking. Turning his head, he focused
instead on the outline of Charles' body next to his. Xavier was lying on his back with one
extra pillow propping him up to facilitate breathing. His head was turned in Erik's direction as
though he was watching him, but Charles was deeply asleep and unaware of his friend's
presence. His wheezy, rattling intake of breath sounded even louder now that he was the focus
of Erik's attention.

Carefully Erik reached out, placing his left hand on Charles' shoulder. The telepath's skin was
hot and damp with fever and sweat. He did not react to Erik's touch but slept on with no
obvious change in his laboured breathing. It had started over two weeks ago with seemingly
apparent case of tonsillitis. Xavier had prescribed himself antibiotics and stuck to his usual
schedule, hoping and most likely trusting the infection to pass without hindering him in his
work with the school. However, after he'd ceased taking the penicillin, the infection returned
full-force and until another antibiotic had conquered the disease, Charles was officially sick-
listed. Scott, Jean and Ororo had promised to take over his classes for as long as necessary,
and Erik suspected that it would be quite a while.

Supposedly Charles being ill had given them both a reprieve from discussing a very delicate
subject that was on Erik's mind pretty much around the clock; Charles' promise to erase the
memories of the abuse and molestation he'd suffered through at the prison. Erik still knew
that the telepath was unwilling to even attempt something that profound, especially as the
subject was a person as close to him as Erik.

"You are aware of the risks, aren't you, Erik?" Charles had asked him for perhaps the seventh
or eighth time after he made his definitive decision. "Even the smallest slip in control could
have devastating results. If things go badly, you might even end up a vegetable or severely
brain damaged."

At times like that Erik couldn't help but lose his patience. "You promised me, Charles!" he
snapped none-too-gently. "You can't take back your offer now. Although that has always
been one of your flaws - making promises you cannot keep!"

At those words his old friend had lowered his head and even had the decency to look guilty.
Although giving Charles a bad conscience didn't necessarily mean that he'd go through with
the procedure.

That was two months ago, and Erik was still waiting. Waiting for a life without nightmares,
agoraphobia, sexual impotence, paranoia and many other things that kept making his
existence miserable. Simple, everyday activities, such as going outside for a walk had become
impossible for Erik due to his agoraphobia, and even having dinner with Xavier's students
was a grim ordeal, as he could no longer function socially.

Erik sighed and turned away from Charles. For a moment he'd considered waking his friend
up and requesting comfort, but the feverish, exhausted telepath needed his sleep more than he
needed coddling. Though mentally crippled, Erik did not want to appear as selfish. However,
he could not remain in this bed, in this room, any longer. If having some fresh air only meant
going to the kitchen for a nightly cup of tea, then so be it.

He stuck his feet into a pair of slippers and slipped his nude body in an iron grey robe,
matching his hair almost perfectly. As he made his way toward the kitchen, Erik hoped that it
would be free of other night time visitors.

For once, it seemed, his wishes were granted. The mansion kitchen was as dark and desolate
as could be expected at 3:30 AM. The lights momentarily stung Erik's eyes when he switched
them on, and a flash of pain passed through his head, followed by slight vertigo. Leaning
against the kitchen sink, eyes pinched shut, Erik silently counted to ten. His panic attacks
were often sudden and, he thought, unprovoked. Anything even remotely similar to his living
conditions at the plastic prison could be enough to trigger one. Like bright, blinding light
originating from fluorescent tubes in the ceiling...

Erik took a few deep breaths and slowly the dizziness ebbed away. As did the numbness in his
mouth and digits. Feeling secure enough to boil some water, the mutant made his way to the
stove. His hands still trembled slightly as he prepared the tea and poured himself a mug, but
he managed to seat himself at the table and take his first sip without any misadventures. Last
month a panic attack had made him spill out a bottle of Charles' most expensive bourbon.

The window was open a few inches, and Erik could feel a cold draft against his back. Closing
his eyes, he used his powers to shut it without getting up. His control over his mutant abilities
had also deteriorated vastly since the abuse. Erik did not know whether it was the result of a
brain damage or just a psychic block in his mind. However, he did know that using too much
force in a situation like this could shatter every window in the kitchen, and he really did not
want to go there.

Erik spent the following minutes staring into his teacup and counting bubbles. He did not hear
the footsteps approaching until the person in question was already standing by the table, and
his head flew up with a jerk.

It was Wolverine. The other mutant had obviously just gotten out of bed as well, judging from
his clothing - white boxer shorts and a tank top in the same colour. Erik had briefly spotted
the man around the mansion from time to time, but they rarely, if ever, interacted with each
other. This was his first real meeting with Logan in ages. Erik looked down, and his fingers
squeezed the teacup hard enough to cause whitening knuckles.

"Hey, Mags," Logan grunted casually and went straight for the fridge. Charles did not
normally allow any alcohol in the common kitchen, but obviously Wolverine followed his
own rules. He opened the beer bottle with his claws and took a swig from it. "What are you
doing up at this hour?"

"I might ask you the same," Erik retorted a bit snappier than he'd intended to.

"Couldn't sleep. Had a nightmare," Logan explained with a shrug. "You?"

"Welcome to the club..." Erik muttered, still not looking up. He wished the Wolverine would
leave. Company was the last thing he needed at the moment, and even if that weren't the case,
he would not choose to hang Logan. Hell, the big man probably wanted to use his guts for
garters!

But instead of leaving, Logan sat down opposite the other mutant, beer bottle in front of him
at the table. "Does Charles know you're here?" he asked.

"No, he doesn't - and I don't recall I need his permission to have a cup of tea by myself while
everyone's supposed to be asleep."

"Calm down, Maggie. I was just asking," Logan said with a groan. Obviously his attempt to
be sociable had failed miserably. Magneto seemed very determined not to improve their
relationship the slightest. What relationship, though? He hardly ever saw Charles' old friend,
and when he did, the other avoided him like plague.

"First of all, my name is not Maggie - it's Erik," Erik said from between clenched teeth.
"Second of all, if you don't mind, I'd really rather be by myself, and third of all...-"

Logan silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Hold it for a minute, will ya? I understand
you're going through a hard time and all, and I've tried to respect it, but why do you have to
be such a sourpuss, Mags? If you think you're the only one with problems, think again!"

Erik felt as though he'd been hit in the face. "Problems"? How dare the Wolverine even use
that word to describe his condition?

"You don't know anything about me, Wolverine!" he hissed. "What I've gone through...
what I'm still going through, and what might be awaiting me... So just... don't."

Logan shrugged. "I suppose I don't, then. But if you think it gives you the right to lash out at
each and every one who comes within ten feet of you, you're mistaken."

"How much do you know? What has Charles told you... about me and what was done to
me... over there?"

"You know Chuck doesn't tell me stuff like that," Logan said with a frown. "I know you were
treated badly and stuff, but hey, I've done time too, and I know prisons are never..."

"No, you don't know anything!" Erik suddenly yelled straight in the other mutant's face. "I
was raped. Two, sometimes three times a week, for fourteen months straight, by that bastard
who's probably out there right now, getting drunk or shagging some teenage girl like nothing
ever happened! And he didn't just rape me. He beat me at every chance he got, and if that was
not enough, he'd torture me. And I couldn't do a thing to stop him. So don't pretend you
know what it's like, Logan. You don't, and you never will."

The sudden outburst, as well as what was revealed, took Logan aback completely. Had Mags
really been raped? Sure, the old man had been a complete wreck when the professor got him
out - Logan had been there and carried the weakened and unconscious Magneto out of the
building himself - and yet the idea of sexual molestation had never occurred to him. Go
figure.

"Mag-... Erik, I'm sorry," he said as soon as his brain had processed the information. "I
didn't know you were..."

"Of course not..." Erik sighed, no longer hyperventilating. "I'm sorry too, I really had no
business snapping at you." He rubbed his aching temples. "But either way, that is what
happened to me, and that is the reason I can no longer go outside, socialize, have sex, or even
get a night of undisturbed sleep. I hope you understand."

Logan regarded the other man with a frown. Mags' sexual capabilities - or in this case,
incapability - was something he did not need to hear about. Although supposedly it made
sense that many rape victims lost interest in sex after being assaulted.

"Charles promised to help me, though," Erik continued, using his power of magnetism to steer
his tea with a small metal spoon. His hands were on his lap, playing with the sash of his robe.
"Do you know how?"

Wolverine shook his head.

"By completely erasing my memories of the time."

"But that's absurd!" Logan exclaimed at once. "Even Chuck can't do something like that,
even of he could, you shouldn't go there. Having no memories at all won't be better, trust
me."

Erik knew that Logan was referring to his own amnesia, and supposedly it was one of his sore
spots. "If you knew your memories would make you feel worse, would you still like to regain
them?"

"Without doubt," Logan replied. "Then at least I'd know who did this to me, and why."

Now it was Erik's turn to shrug. He could not say whether a nameless, faceless perpetrator
would be harder or easier to cope with than one he knew, but having Laurio and everything he
did wiped out from his memory banks could hardly have negative results. Or so he thought.

"I know it's none of my business, but don't do it," Logan said, and the emotion in his voice
surprised Erik. The Wolverine actually sounded as though he cared about him. "I'm sure the
professor can find some other way to help you. But don't make him mess with your
memories."

Erik wanted to point out that they'd already tried basically anything else possible, but he did
not want to spend his remaining energy on trying to persuade Logan that this was the right
thing to do. Erik ceased stirring his tea. It had gotten cold anyway.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"About forty-five minutes."

"Shouldn't you be going back? Chuck might wake up and wonder where you are," Logan
pointed out.

Erik suppressed a snort. "Even if he did, he wouldn't have to search for long, would he?"

"How is the professor? Any better?"

"Not really," Erik said. "Still feverish and sounding like tyres screeching on a gravel road."
He made a sound meaning to imitate his friend's breathing as a demonstration.

"Is that why you came here? Because you had a nightmare and didn't wanna wake him up?"

"I suppose. Not that I could sleep anyway. Charles makes too much noise."

"So what are you gonna do? Sit here all night?"

Erik shrugged. "Maybe. I don't want to disturb anyone."

Logan sounded surprisingly casual when he made the following much unexpected suggestion.
"You could come with me to my room, if you want to. I have a couch that's almost as comfy
as my bed."

Erik looked up in disbelief. Wolverine hadn't just invited him to his quarters, had he? "Are
you serious?"

"Sure, if you want to. You seem like you could need a change of scenery."

"You're just trying to be funny," Erik said accusingly.

"I'm trying to be helpful," Logan shot back. "It's an offer, take it or leave it."

"I thought you hated me..."

"Hate you? I don't even know you... Erik." //And you're not the same person who tried to kill
Rogue and mutate the world leaders at Ellis Island three years ago. Even I can see that.//
Logan also thought it was fortunate that Magneto at least wasn't a telepath. Not having your
thoughts to yourself could be unnerving, even around someone with as good intentions as
Xavier.

"I suppose I can't sit here all night..." Erik finally admitted. "Very well, show me your
quarters."

Logan was slightly irked by the condescending tone in Erik's voice, as though Mags was
some kind of royal highness lowering himself to accept a favour from a mere mortal.
However, he could not take back his offer now without seeming incredibly rude, and
condescending or not, Magneto deserved his sympathy.

"Okay, then let's go." Logan watched the older man rise with surprising dignity, the
expensive, grey silk robe flapping around his calves as he walked. Apparently he could still
carry himself as the old Magneto would. Logan couldn't help but wonder what other
charming personality traits could be left in him. Maybe this had been a mistake, after all?

*~*~*

Erik made a mental note that Logan's room was not as large as Charles' and his, but despite
this much more roomy and luxurious than the places Logan was used to spending his time at.
No wonder he didn't know what to do with all the space.

"Do you have any spare bedding for me?" Erik asked after letting his gaze rest on the broad
but quite inhospitable-looking leather couch.

"You can have the bed. I much prefer the sofa anyway," Logan replied and went to collect a
pillow and a blanket for himself. Upon noticing Erik's hesitation, he stopped mid-step.
"What's wrong?"

"You're giving up your bed for me?" the older man asked dubiously.

Now the Wolverine smiled wryly. "I can't read minds, but your thoughts are practically
written on your face. I don't belong in this posh environment more than you belong in a pick-
up truck. In fact, I'm used to sleeping in cramped spaces, so the couch will suit me fine. Say,
would you like to borrow a T-shirt, or something... ya know, to sleep in?"

Even Erik felt a slight pull in the corners of his mouth. "No, thank you. I'm fine."

Logan frowned; he wasn't sure he wanted to see the scrawny old man in his birthday suit, but
he could not exactly force a shirt on Mags, who was decidedly just wearing a robe.
Meanwhile, Erik went to pull the covers back from the bed. He was touched by Logan's kind
gesture, even though being near the big, ferocious mutant was still a bit unsettling. Very well,
at least he would not have to listen to Charles' rattling chest for the remainder of the night.

"Logan," he began, deliberately using the other's real name. "You don't have to sleep on the
couch. This is a double bed. It's big enough for two people."

A heavy sigh sounded from the Wolverine, and the colour actually rose in his cheeks. "Mags,
just because I invited you to stay here for a few hours doesn't mean that... anything's gonna
happen. I'm straight, ya know, and either way you're not exactly..."

Out of all the things Erik had expected to hear, this was not amongst them. His cheeks flushed
as well, but out of anger rather than embarrassment, and he immediately made a beeline for
the door. "I don't fucking believe you! Presumptuous bastard! As it seems I have exhausted
my welcome, I suppose I should be leaving!"

"Erik, wait!" Logan realized his mistake at once and reached out to stop Magneto, his fingers
brushing the silk sleeve of Erik's robe. Erik, however, reacted as though he'd been touched by
a rattle snake and pulled his arm back.

"Don't touch me!"

"Erik, I'm sorry! That... that was stupid, I don't know why I said that. I know you're not
trying to hit on me, or anything... It was thoughtless. Really. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted..." Erik muttered, though he was still angry. "I shouldn't be here."

Watching Erik take one more step toward the door, Logan put a hand on his shoulder, very
lightly so as not to intimidate his already agitated fellow mutant. "Erik, you don't have to
leave just because I was stupid. You're my guest now, after all."

"I feel like I'm in the way, wherever I go..." Erik sighed truthfully.

"I wasn't happy to have you here at first," Logan admitted. "But this is your home more than
mine. You helped Charles build this school. He told me. Now come on." He moved his hand
down to the small of Erik's back and urged him forward. After some slight reluctance, the
older man complied.

"I might have overreacted as well," Erik said. "I can see why you don't wish to sleep next to
an old queer like I."

"It has nothing to do with that, really. I can't share a bed with anyone even if I wanted to."

The inquisitive look he received from Magneto made Logan compelled to explain further.
"My claws can pop out without my knowing it sometimes. If I have a nightmare, I could slash
right through you in my sleep."

Erik shuddered at the thought. Being skewered alive by the Wolverine was really the last
thing he needed right now. "Fair enough. You take the couch," he said with a small, forced
smile. "Here's hoping you don't snore."

It surprised Erik as much as it did Logan that they were actually able to smile together.

TBC