The Only Woman Who Could Tame Logan: Mary Sue
folder
X-Men: (All Movies) › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
3,010
Reviews:
36
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
X-Men: (All Movies) › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
3,010
Reviews:
36
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own any of the X-Men movies, or any of the characters from them. I make no money from from the writing of this story.
Taming the Wolverine!!!
Warnings: This story is not based on any one truly horrible fanfic. Oh, and I don't own these characters...except for the Mary Sue, who I'd just as soon deny creating.
Checklist for a Truly Horrible Fanfic
1) Grammar, grammar, grammar, punctuation, punctuation, punctuation. Issues with tense and horrible spelling. A truly awful fanfic should make your eyes bleed.
2) Beautiful young girl, mysterious OC that seems oddly modeled after the author. This is what is known as a Mary Sue. She may have a stupid, soap opera-esque name like Fern Taylor Queenston, or an equally idiotic mutant codename like Azterya.
3) Long, pointless description of every item OC is wearing. This part of the story probably includes references to the author’s personal life.
4) Ingenue has had a tragic upbringing of some sort, which accounts for her spirit and unconquerable can-do-it attitude.
5) Despite tragic upbringing, ingenue is not only well-adjusted, but practically godlike in her desire to help others. She is also extremely talented, funny, creative, intelligent, and athletic. She may or may not have a thousand different mutations, but if she does, she’s probably better at them than anyone else on the planet.
6) Ingenue is probably a virgin.
7) Ingenue is so influential to the characters at the institute that within days of her arrival, all the men are obsessed with her. She may even prompt them to OOC behavior, such as Logan becoming inexplicably weak and puppy-like at her feet. Women generally react with the same reverence as men, though there may or may not be a token jealous bitch who is unable to accept that the ingenue is simply better than everyone else.
8) Lots of blatant, unnecessary statements. For example: “She challenged the larger man with her eyes, because she was a brave person who wasn’t afraid of anything.”
9) This: “OH GOD FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Enough said.
10) The biggest penis the ingenue has ever seen.
11) Gross, creepy nicknames for genital organs and their functions; i.e. “meatpole” or “sopping, drippy cavern of lust”
12) Weird, random metaphors. “He looked at her as if she had just told him that she’d won the lottery but lost the ticket.”
13) Unrealistic sex scenes, such as a woman having ninety orgasms in the space of three minutes.
14) Getting character's names wrong, or just misspelling them brutally. While this falls under checklist item 1 to some degree, I thought I'd just reiterate. If you're writing a story, you sure as hell better know that Rouge is actually a kind of make-up, not an X-Woman
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Intentionally Crappy Fanfic Begins...Now.
“We are having some very important guests today Scott.” Said Logan.
“So I hear who are they?”
Professor X pressed his fingers to his temples and used his psychic abilities. “It is only one girl. Her name is Sapphire and she is lost after being kicked out of par parent’s house, she is ostracized because she is so powerfully intense with her powers. I am glad she is coming to the mansion because she is incredibly powerful and friendly, clever and witty and also very caring and gentle. She had a very tragic childhood because her father beat her and her mother died during childbirth and her brothers and sisters never understood her, but she has coped very well.”
“Wow”
“Yes. Oh, here she is” Said Logan.
Suddenly a ravishing young beauty came in, with hair the color of corn and big blue eyes and creamy skin, she was very beautiful and on the street you wouldn’t have thought she was a mutant. She was wearing a pair of tights that were black and shimmery and big shoes and some shoelaces that she got at her favorite store Hot Topic, a pair of garters that came down a little from her short leather skirt and a tight shirt that revealed her toned stomach even though her parents didn’t like her dressing that way, since she worked out a lot. The shirt said, “I Don’t Get no Respect” because she felt that way a lot. It showed her toughness. Her hair flowed down her back like a river of blond blood. She smiled and her lips were very, very red against her pale skin.
“Hi,” she said in a tough voice to Logan. It was amazing because most people were afraid of Logan. “What’s your name?”
“My name is Logan, but you can call me whatever you like, sweet thang.” He chucks her under the chin and walks away.
“Wow” said a woman with white hair, who was not old despite her hair, but actually young and beautiful. “My name is Storm and Logan really likes you, I guess he has forgotten all abouyt Jean, how convenient. What is your name?”
“My name is Sapphire Pembroke Smyth, or Empressiria.” Said the girl, tossing her hair. Even Storm was amazed at how beautiful she was.
“Wow” Said Storm. She walked away.
Empressiria went off in the direction that s see seen Logan go. She had superior tracking powers like Logan but better and so she was able to find him very easily.
She knocked on his door and he opened it in a towel. He looked very handsome in a rough manly way and Empressiria blushed with a great deal of embarrassingility.
“Whaddya want, kid? Oh, it’s you. Hi there. What’s your name?”
“My name is Sapphire Pembroke Smyth or Empressiria. I am sixteen.”
He looked her up and down and a horny light glowed in his eyes.
“Is that so?”
Suddenly she put her hand to her head really hard. “I…I feel something.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m a psychic” she explained “Only much more powerful than anyone at this school including Professor X. I am also telekinetic and I can lift buildings and small islands and stuff. I can also control the weather better than Storm and teleport.”
Logan was floored. What a woman! Never before had he met somebody who could make him forget Jane Gray but here she was. She tossed her hair adnd smiled at him. She had really straight teeth. Logan was vulnerable to her beauty and he could not resist. Taking her in his arms he kissed her.
Then he took off his pants. Empressiria was amazed—she had seen many organs in magazines but he had the biggest lovestick she’d ever seen in her whole life!! It was at least a foot long how did he stand upright?? She wondered if he suffered lower back pain. He put it in her and she screamed as he entered her socking wet lovehole. He popped her cherry and there was a little blood but she didn’t mind. He started fuckign her right then and there and it was so amazing that she came immediately and then five times after that!!
“OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAN this is so gooooooooooooooooood oh oh oh!!! I can’t go on without your mutant juices in me!! CUM!! CUM!!”
Then he came.
Afterwards they lay in bed and he said, “Wow, that was the best sex I’ve ever had! I love you, Empressiria!” He said this even though he was a strong independent loner but somehow Empressiria had changed him.
“Oh Empressiria, will you marry me?”
“Yes!” she said and they went back under the sheets of the bed they were in, winking slyly at each other!!
Checklist for a Truly Horrible Fanfic
1) Grammar, grammar, grammar, punctuation, punctuation, punctuation. Issues with tense and horrible spelling. A truly awful fanfic should make your eyes bleed.
2) Beautiful young girl, mysterious OC that seems oddly modeled after the author. This is what is known as a Mary Sue. She may have a stupid, soap opera-esque name like Fern Taylor Queenston, or an equally idiotic mutant codename like Azterya.
3) Long, pointless description of every item OC is wearing. This part of the story probably includes references to the author’s personal life.
4) Ingenue has had a tragic upbringing of some sort, which accounts for her spirit and unconquerable can-do-it attitude.
5) Despite tragic upbringing, ingenue is not only well-adjusted, but practically godlike in her desire to help others. She is also extremely talented, funny, creative, intelligent, and athletic. She may or may not have a thousand different mutations, but if she does, she’s probably better at them than anyone else on the planet.
6) Ingenue is probably a virgin.
7) Ingenue is so influential to the characters at the institute that within days of her arrival, all the men are obsessed with her. She may even prompt them to OOC behavior, such as Logan becoming inexplicably weak and puppy-like at her feet. Women generally react with the same reverence as men, though there may or may not be a token jealous bitch who is unable to accept that the ingenue is simply better than everyone else.
8) Lots of blatant, unnecessary statements. For example: “She challenged the larger man with her eyes, because she was a brave person who wasn’t afraid of anything.”
9) This: “OH GOD FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Enough said.
10) The biggest penis the ingenue has ever seen.
11) Gross, creepy nicknames for genital organs and their functions; i.e. “meatpole” or “sopping, drippy cavern of lust”
12) Weird, random metaphors. “He looked at her as if she had just told him that she’d won the lottery but lost the ticket.”
13) Unrealistic sex scenes, such as a woman having ninety orgasms in the space of three minutes.
14) Getting character's names wrong, or just misspelling them brutally. While this falls under checklist item 1 to some degree, I thought I'd just reiterate. If you're writing a story, you sure as hell better know that Rouge is actually a kind of make-up, not an X-Woman
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Intentionally Crappy Fanfic Begins...Now.
“We are having some very important guests today Scott.” Said Logan.
“So I hear who are they?”
Professor X pressed his fingers to his temples and used his psychic abilities. “It is only one girl. Her name is Sapphire and she is lost after being kicked out of par parent’s house, she is ostracized because she is so powerfully intense with her powers. I am glad she is coming to the mansion because she is incredibly powerful and friendly, clever and witty and also very caring and gentle. She had a very tragic childhood because her father beat her and her mother died during childbirth and her brothers and sisters never understood her, but she has coped very well.”
“Wow”
“Yes. Oh, here she is” Said Logan.
Suddenly a ravishing young beauty came in, with hair the color of corn and big blue eyes and creamy skin, she was very beautiful and on the street you wouldn’t have thought she was a mutant. She was wearing a pair of tights that were black and shimmery and big shoes and some shoelaces that she got at her favorite store Hot Topic, a pair of garters that came down a little from her short leather skirt and a tight shirt that revealed her toned stomach even though her parents didn’t like her dressing that way, since she worked out a lot. The shirt said, “I Don’t Get no Respect” because she felt that way a lot. It showed her toughness. Her hair flowed down her back like a river of blond blood. She smiled and her lips were very, very red against her pale skin.
“Hi,” she said in a tough voice to Logan. It was amazing because most people were afraid of Logan. “What’s your name?”
“My name is Logan, but you can call me whatever you like, sweet thang.” He chucks her under the chin and walks away.
“Wow” said a woman with white hair, who was not old despite her hair, but actually young and beautiful. “My name is Storm and Logan really likes you, I guess he has forgotten all abouyt Jean, how convenient. What is your name?”
“My name is Sapphire Pembroke Smyth, or Empressiria.” Said the girl, tossing her hair. Even Storm was amazed at how beautiful she was.
“Wow” Said Storm. She walked away.
Empressiria went off in the direction that s see seen Logan go. She had superior tracking powers like Logan but better and so she was able to find him very easily.
She knocked on his door and he opened it in a towel. He looked very handsome in a rough manly way and Empressiria blushed with a great deal of embarrassingility.
“Whaddya want, kid? Oh, it’s you. Hi there. What’s your name?”
“My name is Sapphire Pembroke Smyth or Empressiria. I am sixteen.”
He looked her up and down and a horny light glowed in his eyes.
“Is that so?”
Suddenly she put her hand to her head really hard. “I…I feel something.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m a psychic” she explained “Only much more powerful than anyone at this school including Professor X. I am also telekinetic and I can lift buildings and small islands and stuff. I can also control the weather better than Storm and teleport.”
Logan was floored. What a woman! Never before had he met somebody who could make him forget Jane Gray but here she was. She tossed her hair adnd smiled at him. She had really straight teeth. Logan was vulnerable to her beauty and he could not resist. Taking her in his arms he kissed her.
Then he took off his pants. Empressiria was amazed—she had seen many organs in magazines but he had the biggest lovestick she’d ever seen in her whole life!! It was at least a foot long how did he stand upright?? She wondered if he suffered lower back pain. He put it in her and she screamed as he entered her socking wet lovehole. He popped her cherry and there was a little blood but she didn’t mind. He started fuckign her right then and there and it was so amazing that she came immediately and then five times after that!!
“OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAN this is so gooooooooooooooooood oh oh oh!!! I can’t go on without your mutant juices in me!! CUM!! CUM!!”
Then he came.
Afterwards they lay in bed and he said, “Wow, that was the best sex I’ve ever had! I love you, Empressiria!” He said this even though he was a strong independent loner but somehow Empressiria had changed him.
“Oh Empressiria, will you marry me?”
“Yes!” she said and they went back under the sheets of the bed they were in, winking slyly at each other!!