rate_review Reviews

You need to go back over this, badly. It's all out of order and impossible to read.

Hi,

I liked the idea of your story, it's just a pity that there is a problem with the format. There were paragraphs missing, and one paragraph was there twice, but both times it didn't fit into the action that was going on...
I don't know if that is just a problem with my browser, but usually I don't have any, or with your formatting, probably you could check it.
And by the way, "I want you" in German would be "Ich will dich" and for "harder" I would use "fester", and you should change the "n" at the end of "schwarzen" (Engel) to an "r" as in "schwarzer Engel". I'm native German so I know what I'm talking about.

Bye
Sanchan

It's a really good story, but right about here the scenes start jumping and mixing and you can't really follow it.

He was already kicking his shoes off when Kurt suddenly disappeared, leaving a cloud of blue smoke. Logan didn't have a chance to even d he could feel the muscles inside squeezing him, and that's when Kurt came, shooting come against Logan's chest and onto his own.> S> Slowing to a stop, feeling the tail slide out of him, he pulled out and leaned down, kissing the blue member and licking at it and up along his chest, tasting the bittersweet juice.

If you could fix the problem I would love to read this again!

really good, except there's one part where the story skips ahead and then repeats... right about when Logan's taking off his shoes and Kurt dissapears.... it cuts off and skips ahead and then repeats a few paragraphs down... so it skips some of the story. Just so you know... otherwise... LOVED IT!

so you know, some of your pieces got chopped up. It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense with the paragraphs repeating, but it's a good piece to read...what you can read.

Hey, that was a pretty good Fiction I have to say. I like the way your Kurt is, all seductive. *gg*

But a few tips for other Fictions in German:
"Auf die knie, mein liebe"....first the wright form is: "Auf die Knie, meine Liebe" second it means: "On
your knees, my love" and I really don´t see how that goes with the story.
and "schwarzen engel" is incorrect, it has to say "schwarzer Engel".
Oh and "Ich wünsche sie" is kind of weird, just write: "Ich will dich" that's better.

I hope my review didn't annoy you, and that I could help.

Could you fix that thing in the middle where it skips half the story and doubles over? It's probably just some error with AFF but it's annoying.

Hey .....
A real hot storie I liked it very much jut the german is bothering me a bit.....
Do you mind if I correct you a bit?

my love = "mein liebster"(male)also "mein lieber"/"meine liebste" (female) also "meine liebe"
black angel = schwarzer Engel
harder = stärker , fester ....."stark" can also mean strong
I want you = Ich will dich

If that annoyed than I am sorry but I thought that might help you in the future.


byebye

Bela

Ahhh!

Must have more tasty Logan/Kut smut!
(Or just more smutty Kurt! Row! ^_^ Tasty good!)

Very nice, and I'm looking forward to more.

Oh, you do a meeeeaaaan Logan. *grin* Very much liking.

Also? I've never been totally into the whole glory-that-is-Kurt thing, but you're making me consider it. :) Feel proud; my friends have been trying to do that for ages.

Hoping there's more where this came from...