rate_review Reviews

can't wait to read more,please update as soon as possible

This chapter is a bit short. There was more going one storywise in the previous chapter, and it was 5 pages longer than this one. You were doing a great job in the past 2-3 chapters to promote character and relationship developements. I feel that you could summarize or even leave out this chapter becuase very little really happened. Of course in terms of time, this would be alot for a days worth of events, but still couldn't we gone into the events of the night out for both the students and the old folks, thus creating leads to events that will occur in the next 3 chapters? I know your planning alot of big events, but this chapter feels disconnectery kry keeping it about the same length or just a little more for each chapter and if you dont want to give too much info about the events in upcomming chapters, you can always be more detailed on other events occuring with other characters. Jubilee is always good for comedic relief. If she was in the communications room, why not play pranks while having to waiting for a responce from the guys, or go through a scene with Evan trying not to stab everything in the room unintentionally. Another idea would have Cindy talk with Rhane and Jamie about her new friends and her thoughts on hiding her mutant side with her nonmutant friends.

Here it is as promised.

YOur story is going rather well I say, Going to mall and forcing one to try on underware has always been my idea of entertainment. I do feel sorry for the wind rider though. having to put up with those pesky teens.

Hope the next chapters out soon.

the House of Blues would be a nice place 2 visit

Well that was an interesting unexpected add-on. Adding Cody into the picture sure does open alot of doors now. Makes me wonder if maybe. . . oh I don't know, cody gets the urge to come visit? start rufflin up some feathers, and cause some uncertainy ro somethinglike that.

any way anothre great chapter to please the masses. Hope the next one comes out just as soon.

ur story rocks!!!!!

Well, there's been quite a few updates since I last checked. SO matt died, went to heaven, then came back to life. Kicked the Magneto and his croonies asses, saved Rogue and Got head. NIce. He also meets his alternate self family, including carla, (you just have to feel bad for her). Rogue and Matts relationship seems almost perfect, except for when matt gets the slip of the tounge. And that makes me wonder, except for the risty thing Matt really hasn't gotten in any fights with Rogue durning thier relationship. I mean they got in plenty when he first arrived, but since then its been all peaches and cream. Are you going to have them get into a fight about something, hell it could be something small and non significat. Just a question to chew. Other then that, this story is fucking awesome. And I dont just say "fucking" for any body. I hope to see more soon, and I know that aught to be pretty soon. Great job again!

hey id u d u 2 get back 2 me on my ideas

I love this story, but allow me a little constructive critism. Don't get offended, it's supposed to help you. First, get a spell checker. They save a ton of time when you're looking for your typing errors. Second, make better use of punctuation, particularly quotation marks, and spacing. Third, you need to work on your capitalization. Also, and this is really minor, I've noticed that you consistantly mispell some words (ie you always spell 'were' as 'where') which wouldn't be picked up by a spell checker. That aside, this really is a great story. Very well done.

Great story so far (due to a hectic work schedual, I've only been able to get up to chapter 8). Could use a little proof-reading though, and maybe a spell checker. Still, I love this story. I've wanted to do a story about someone from our world ending up in a fictional world forever, but I could never quite make it work. You've done great with it.