rate_review Reviews

Excellent work, I really enjoyed reading it. Liz Allan is a particular favorite of mine so I am very glad to see her in a forefront role. I like the way you write large sex scenes without them feeling particularly dead. (It's hard for me not to see my own sex scenes as plotless bogs.) I find the venom fangs and the application of them compelling. I also quite enjoy Peter taking the time to check his own fluid samples. Peter is a scientist but he is often reactionary, looking and learning only after things blow up in his face. You captured that quite well.

One particular thing I noticed is when Spidey fought Widow there was a distinct lack of quipping. A small tidbit, yes and it was the only fight so far on camera as it were. I hope for a quip or two in any upcoming conflicts. Also looking forward to Octavius and Osborn collecting Jessica Drew. Very much so.

A beta reader would certainly smooth out any of the other miniscule problems I've seen. Still, even before the spit and polish, this is a very solid Spider-man story and I look forward to the next chapter.

A very well written and sexy update! As this is fan fiction it is quite all right to move events around. It's your universe, not 1610 (which DIsney owns right?).

Keep up the good work and I eagerly await your next update.

Great update. Love the threesome action.

Good job with the details like explaining how Peter's venom and fangs work, and their affect on the girls.

Not much else to say for now, other than great work. I look forward to more!

Sorry it took me a while to review chapter 3. It was another really good chapter that helped add a few details to the story while bringing both Liz and Black Widow into the fold. I like how you dug a little deeper into the Oz formula at the beginning. In the past I've often heard that Peter becoming Spider-Man was a metaphor for puberty. So it fits perfectly in that Oz would have only taken hold in his body at a stage in his life when puberty was kicking in. That leads me to wonder what kind of effects his venom will have on Mary Jane and Liz, both of whom are fairly young as well and going through puberty too. I like what you did with the Peter/Liz scene. Your attention to details are part of what make this story great. Can we expect a similar scene with Gwen in the future? I would really like to see her get involved! Again, great job on this story. Please keep up the excellent work!

MarvelMaster616

Nice story but where is Gwen Stacy. I think that since she became the carnage in the Ultamate mavel she should get with peter too.

I remember reading the first chapter of this story some time ago but forgot about it until I saw you were on Ch 3. I have to say I love how your story is going thus far. I like how you didn't go the symbiote route like so many others usually do. I look forward to your next update, keep up the great work!

You continue to weave a very captivating story. It almost makes the long time between chapters bearable. Keep up the great work.

Gotta say, I'm really enjoying this fic so far.

The story is good, the level of detail is nice, the lemons are great, etc.

Like the stuff with MJ & Liz so far (though my favorite version of Liz was the Spectacular Spider-Man's). Can't wait to see who else you bring to the table.

The girl I want to see the most is Kitty Pride/Shadow Cat. The relationship between her and Peter was one of my favorite things in the Ultimate verse, and honestly I think they should have stuck with it longer.

I think seeing a bit more of Web-Head's humor and banter would be nice, but otherwise I can't think of anything lacking so far.

Keep up the good work! I look forward to more soon.

Well chapter 3 was really good I like the little new intro to Jessica and the new way you'll explain her powers and presence into this world without the creepy factor of her being a female clone of Peter. The chapter was well done and I liked how Liz tried to find out what was going on with MJ and Peter although she was in serious denial about what she saw it would seem in one point. The part with Black Window was unexpected but I liked it, also will this prompt Peter to alter his mask to allow his fangs to poke out without damaging his mask?

Also I hope you have a scene showing Black Widow sometime after this with the effects and just like Liz showing her masturbating to Spider-Man, maybe showing her starting to get slightly obsessive.

The last part was fun and I take it that Liz's mother is either a very heavy sleep or wasn't home, I also have to wonder if Liz will think it was all a dream when she wakes up given that she had been pleasuring herself to him and him suddenly showing up and having sex would make her question things that is until she notices the sighs she had sex of course.

Two chapters in and already this is one of my favorite Spider-Man stories in a long time! I really enjoyed this chapter. It didn't just deal with the immediate aftermath of what happened between Peter and MJ in the first chapter. It actually built upon it and escalated all those feelings and desires. It was really nicely done. It was well organized, nicely detailed, and very well thought out. The scene with Liz and Mary Jane tempting Flash was a humorous little addition. It figures a guy like him just can't focus with two attractive girls in gym shorts tempting him. I also thought it was funny how Mary Jane had to slip out of Peter's room wearing a Thundercat shirt of all things. lol Nice touch there. It's clear Aunt May has her suspicions, but not acting on them is giving Peter and MJ plenty of time to enjoy themselves. I wonder how they'll handle conversations about birth control and what not. And the end with Peter and Mary Jane getting it on in the shower while Liz watched was great! But now that Liz has seen them, how are they going to handle it? It could go any number of ways given Peter's fantasies about three-ways, but I'm sure you'll find a way to make it interesting. Again, great job on this! I really enjoyed it. Keep up the awesome work!

Regards,
MarvelMaster616