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May 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Nice story, can't wait for the second chapter
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September 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I was surprised to see an Ultimate Spider-Man Animated Series fanfiction ended up inside Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes section but it is nice to see this especially it was a Peter x Ava pairing. To be honest, Chapter 1 was quite enjoyable because it is seem that you managed to get the characters' characteristic somewhat right; Peter being a goofball and Ava was all serious. Regarding on Chapter 2, to be honest, you did jumped into the sex too sudden without proper stimulation(?), I don't know the exact word for it. It looks like Ava being too greedy in my point of view. Either way, the story was decent and enjoyable despite there are several things that doesn't make sense much. Kinda hoping you would continue the story of Ava paying Peter a visit.
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September 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I was honestly expecting a bit more out of the second chapter I mean they just jump right into fucking? That's a little quick plus you need to get the woman at least excited or she's dry and that's painful to both but mostly to her and that wasn't in this so it should have been pretty painful plus was this not her first time? I mean given her age that was kind of surprising.
One thing you got to stop doing is stop doing is using "&" instead of "and", it just makes you look really lazy that you can't be bother to type the actual word out. It's just three letters but it shows you're not putting in effort when you cut corners like that. Plus I don't think he should have forgotten what happened plus wouldn't he know after waking up naked with her? So that part didn't make any sense and it would have been better if he had remembered and them actually dealing with it.
So I guess this is the end of it unless you are going to make a third chapter where she visits him and in honestly that might make up for chapter 2. Chapter 1 was good with the whole set up you made but the next one just wasn't as good to me. Now the last of the second chapter was good when it got back to the plot of the story it's just the first half was was a little disappointment to me in some places.
Also how come this is in the Avengers section? I just noticed this, isn't this in the wrong section as this has nothing to do with that Avenger's cartoon show?
One thing you got to stop doing is stop doing is using "&" instead of "and", it just makes you look really lazy that you can't be bother to type the actual word out. It's just three letters but it shows you're not putting in effort when you cut corners like that. Plus I don't think he should have forgotten what happened plus wouldn't he know after waking up naked with her? So that part didn't make any sense and it would have been better if he had remembered and them actually dealing with it.
So I guess this is the end of it unless you are going to make a third chapter where she visits him and in honestly that might make up for chapter 2. Chapter 1 was good with the whole set up you made but the next one just wasn't as good to me. Now the last of the second chapter was good when it got back to the plot of the story it's just the first half was was a little disappointment to me in some places.
Also how come this is in the Avengers section? I just noticed this, isn't this in the wrong section as this has nothing to do with that Avenger's cartoon show?
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September 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Updates! Yay!!!
I thought the lemon was pretty good myself, was fairly detailed and varied. Liked the action and humor too.
Really hope to see more of this fic, I can definitely see at least one more ch., but you could probably do more about the two in other superhero situations.
Keep up the good work!
I thought the lemon was pretty good myself, was fairly detailed and varied. Liked the action and humor too.
Really hope to see more of this fic, I can definitely see at least one more ch., but you could probably do more about the two in other superhero situations.
Keep up the good work!
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August 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ah, Ava Ayala, the one reason I don't hate this show.
I like what you wrote and liked how you did it. The shawarma and Mr Fantastic references really give us the Ultimate Peter we've come to know and tolerate. Hope you come up with a second chapter to follow through. Not just for the sex, but for the comeuppance AIM deserves and any and all Spidey quips.
I like what you wrote and liked how you did it. The shawarma and Mr Fantastic references really give us the Ultimate Peter we've come to know and tolerate. Hope you come up with a second chapter to follow through. Not just for the sex, but for the comeuppance AIM deserves and any and all Spidey quips.
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July 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Alright, I was hoping to find a fic with this paring eventually.
Pretty good first chapter. Nice job setting the ground work for the story.
Can't wait to see the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
Pretty good first chapter. Nice job setting the ground work for the story.
Can't wait to see the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
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July 21, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Stumbled across this, coincidently, literally as I had just begun watching the series itself. Great timing. Very well written so far, hopefully this will be one of those fics that is actually finished as it has some great potential, please don't let it just fade away. If there is anything to be criticised it is that I could see this becoming perhaps too involved in the story if you see what I mean. While the plot is a great framing device I just hope that it doesn't move to slowly, just to be honest. So far though very enjoyable, please keep it up.
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July 20, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Well I take it that this has all been lead up to what's coming next and I look forward to it. It will be interesting to see where this goes, although if she starts by giving him a blowjob and she swallows wouldn't she run the risk of getting the drug in her system or does it only effect blood? Just wondering how far it goes but it will be cool to see how this goes given that he's got enhanced human stamina it could take some time.