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December 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really love this story!
Hope you update soon!
Kurt reactions are so cute!
I think the Lance/Pietro/Kurt threesome is great!
Hope you update soon!
Kurt reactions are so cute!
I think the Lance/Pietro/Kurt threesome is great!
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December 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You put my 3 fav boys together in one fic. You should definitly continue. Though I like the story, I think you would benifit from someone who can go through and corect mistakes like capital letters and punctuation. If you would like me to help with that, email me at amber.and.the.kids@gmail.com.
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December 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Very nice.
I'm glad to see that you took my advice to heart. With just that tiny fix, the quality seems to have increased nearly ten-fold...well...maybe not ten-fold. I mean...it woould have to had sucked in order for it to be capable of improving that much. So, let's just stick to saying that it was good before, but it's excellent now.
And, no. I'm not just saying that because of the HJ and BJ in this chapter. ;)
Good job. I hope to see more soon, but don't go rushing yourself! Like I always say, the comfort level of the writer will directly effect the quality of the product. So, update as soon as you can do so comfortably!
;
I'm glad to see that you took my advice to heart. With just that tiny fix, the quality seems to have increased nearly ten-fold...well...maybe not ten-fold. I mean...it woould have to had sucked in order for it to be capable of improving that much. So, let's just stick to saying that it was good before, but it's excellent now.
And, no. I'm not just saying that because of the HJ and BJ in this chapter. ;)
Good job. I hope to see more soon, but don't go rushing yourself! Like I always say, the comfort level of the writer will directly effect the quality of the product. So, update as soon as you can do so comfortably!
;
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December 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Yea..i registered just to review this story, I love it! cant wait to see whats next ^^
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December 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi there. I like this story quite a bit. For a first work, it's very good.
I only have two small bits of criticism. Firstly, when you're typing a person's spoken lines, you keep surrounding them with apostrophes. You should be using quotation marks.
The other thing is what you did with the content tags. For that, I will give you a piece of advice that somebody gave me awhile back. When picking and choosing content tags, just pick the big ones that'll be showing up a lot. Also, if something shows up, but isn't being used in a sexual nature, you don't need to list a content tag for it. As an example, if that little trance to get Kurt to fill out the supposed year book thingy is the only time that MC will be showing up in the story, you don't need to mention MC in your tags. People look at those things as invitations when they do like a tag or warnings when they don't like the tags. So, unless the tag will be making a substantial impact on the plot, characters, or smut, you don't need to list it.
My apologies for making the content tags thing the longest part of the review. Anywho, now that the criticism is done, we can move onto the nice stuff.
I think this is a very interesting and original plot and I think your characterizations are cute. You seem to have put a lot of thought into this plot and everything, so I'm glad it's getting attention. I always feel bad when a writer puts forth an honest effort and doesn't get any credit for it.
Good job, man. Hope to see more soon.
I only have two small bits of criticism. Firstly, when you're typing a person's spoken lines, you keep surrounding them with apostrophes. You should be using quotation marks.
The other thing is what you did with the content tags. For that, I will give you a piece of advice that somebody gave me awhile back. When picking and choosing content tags, just pick the big ones that'll be showing up a lot. Also, if something shows up, but isn't being used in a sexual nature, you don't need to list a content tag for it. As an example, if that little trance to get Kurt to fill out the supposed year book thingy is the only time that MC will be showing up in the story, you don't need to mention MC in your tags. People look at those things as invitations when they do like a tag or warnings when they don't like the tags. So, unless the tag will be making a substantial impact on the plot, characters, or smut, you don't need to list it.
My apologies for making the content tags thing the longest part of the review. Anywho, now that the criticism is done, we can move onto the nice stuff.
I think this is a very interesting and original plot and I think your characterizations are cute. You seem to have put a lot of thought into this plot and everything, so I'm glad it's getting attention. I always feel bad when a writer puts forth an honest effort and doesn't get any credit for it.
Good job, man. Hope to see more soon.
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November 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ahh, good hot slashy smut.
I have to say, it's a bit sad that Kurt's first kiss was completely stolen from him, and that he was made to believe it was only as a dare. Given Evo Kurt's personality in the series, I'd say that means he's probably going to believe it was only because of his "freakish" looks.
I'm watching the story... hopefully you'll have some good plot development here. So far it's pretty entertaining.
I have to say, it's a bit sad that Kurt's first kiss was completely stolen from him, and that he was made to believe it was only as a dare. Given Evo Kurt's personality in the series, I'd say that means he's probably going to believe it was only because of his "freakish" looks.
I'm watching the story... hopefully you'll have some good plot development here. So far it's pretty entertaining.
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November 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm... Well well well, I must say this is looking like an amazing story so far :) yes the chapters are a bit on the short side but you said you are correcting that with the next chapter being longer so I cant complain :P and can I say it looks like a lot of angst can worm its way into this story >:) yes I'm an angst whore lol, as long as there's a happy ending. As for the one note you put, yes you explained the mystical wammy put on the paper just fine. Honestly this is a fan fic based on a show that is populated largely by mutants with holographic watches, aliens from other planets that fall in love with guys in wheel chairs and time traveling mutants from alternate worlds... And you think THAT little bit of plot you used is far fetched or something lol? I cant help but feel that given Kurts personalty and his fear of rejection due to his (oh so hot lol) looks would cause him to fight his new little stalkers off more, but this story is going great! And thats something hard to find in this section for some reason :( honestly you would think the X-men would be more popular! Well I hope to see more soon!!!
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November 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is an interesting story idea. I don't think I've ever seen Pietro/Lance/Kurt story before.
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November 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Love where's it's going (: Please write more!!
Also, the part where Kurt zoned out during the questionnaire , what was that about?
Also, the part where Kurt zoned out during the questionnaire , what was that about?