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October 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hot damn. Haven't read a good Logan/Jean fic in awhile, especially one that makes you wish you were Jean. Your story was in my head most of the night. I loved that you expanded on Logan's animalistic nature. One of the best parts of reading such fanfic is getting that sense of the extent of his feelings for Jean and how he'd be with her. You expressed their passion very, *ahem* very well. Your summary on how issue #117 should've gone down had me tickled.
I liked the touch of humor you put in some parts, especially the "sip of beer" comment near the end. That'd be so Logan!
I admit there were parts where I felt Logan's reactions weren't characteristic of the way I've thought him to be, such as his interaction with Scott in being somewhat hesitant despite knowing the gravity of the situation. However, that's just my take and I respect other points of view on his character.
Hope you keep writing more!
I liked the touch of humor you put in some parts, especially the "sip of beer" comment near the end. That'd be so Logan!
I admit there were parts where I felt Logan's reactions weren't characteristic of the way I've thought him to be, such as his interaction with Scott in being somewhat hesitant despite knowing the gravity of the situation. However, that's just my take and I respect other points of view on his character.
Hope you keep writing more!
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October 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
A lot of this is pretty good. I was especially touched by the "Jeannie, it's our baby," line. The way #117 worked out always bugged me, so it's great to see a take on it that fixes Logan's moment of stupid.
Parts of this need work. Your dialogue paragraphs are a bit messy. If one character is speaking, it shouldn't be on three separate lines, but one contained paragraph. It makes parts of the story choppy and difficult to read.
I loved their encounters in the woods. Very nicely written. You touched on the whole Logan/animal dichotomy very nicely.
The ending was extremely rushed. Never mind what seemed like the awkwardness of Jean being a bridesmaid at her ex-husband's wedding (really?), but that we never see the fallout between Scott and Jean. After your careful set up of the rest of the story, I think the fallout and the subsequent consequences, both good and bad, would have been interesting to see.
James and Rosie as their kids? I heartily approve. In my head canon, Logan and Jean have a daughter and name her Rosie, so it tickled me pink to see this in someone else's story. Good job all around.
Parts of this need work. Your dialogue paragraphs are a bit messy. If one character is speaking, it shouldn't be on three separate lines, but one contained paragraph. It makes parts of the story choppy and difficult to read.
I loved their encounters in the woods. Very nicely written. You touched on the whole Logan/animal dichotomy very nicely.
The ending was extremely rushed. Never mind what seemed like the awkwardness of Jean being a bridesmaid at her ex-husband's wedding (really?), but that we never see the fallout between Scott and Jean. After your careful set up of the rest of the story, I think the fallout and the subsequent consequences, both good and bad, would have been interesting to see.
James and Rosie as their kids? I heartily approve. In my head canon, Logan and Jean have a daughter and name her Rosie, so it tickled me pink to see this in someone else's story. Good job all around.