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for Delicious Torment

by amandah

schedule January 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM

It's certainly a sweet PWP. You've got a couple typos, but nothing too distracting.

The only thing that really stands out to me are Logan's reactions. I doubt he wouldn't know that he was brushing up against a woman's cervix. Also, I hardly see him as quick to climax as you've portrayed, given his overall stamina.

I do like that you've involved both of them in the act. I like that Jubilee is very involved in arousing Logan, rather than simply allowing him to take the lead.

Overall, very nicely done. Thank you for sharing, and happy writing!