rate_review Reviews

English teacher review: You have several words that are properly spelled, but misused. Lead is the metal and roll is the act of rolling. Also itself, himself and herself are one word, not two.

Critic review: What's with all of the new mutations and are they really necessary to the story? Since when has Rogue been able to use her power to give something to someone else? The last I checked, her ability is to absorb powers, not give them.

Ok, your spelling has definately improved, but you've got some interesting phrasing going on here. 'Of a morning' makes no sense. Please remember that when a new person starts to talk, they get a new paragraph that way it's easier to tell who's talking. Over all, much better writing and it'll be interesting to see how the two couples interact before and after the audience is gone.

Ok, if you're not going to get a beta reader, could you at least proofread? I'm not talking about telling the program to check your spelling. I mean, reread the entire chapter. You'd be amazed how it helps.

What a great up-date. I'a looking forward to the competition between the two couples and I
also can't wait for Jean and Wolverine to show up.

It's really not healthy for me to stare at my computer screen blushing all the time.:D (And there is still a two-week honeymoon! Wondering whether or not I'll have enough blood left after that.)
And if Scott and Marie keep it up like that, there is no doubt their baby will be on the way soon enough!
But if I were staying right next room to any married couple in the mansion, I'll definitely mark the reinforcement of my bedroom walls first thing on my to-do list!

Good sex, but there are so many typos that it's hard to ignore them and concentrate on the story. I strongly suggest you get a beta reader to help you out.

it's good so far but Please UPDATE ASAP.

Not bad, but I was given the impression in the movies that Pyro can only control fire, not create it.

Okay, I seriously hate Jean. I am a big Logan/Rogue fan. I'm not crazy about you breaking them up. I do like Scott. So the least you can do is make Logan and Jean come back and regret their actions and MAKE THEM SUFFER!

I love this story, by the way.

Um, this needs a little work. I know that the wedding is part of the story, but was it really important for the story to know every little detail of the dresses and them picking them out? Also, watch out for redundancies. A door that is slightly open is ajar, you don't need to say 'open ajar'. If you have comments that you want to tell the readers that aren't part of the story, the things with John, Bobby, Kitty and Jubilee, please put them in an Author's Notes section at the begining or the end of the chapter, not in the middle of it. It disrupts the flow of the story when you do that. I know this isn't what you're looking for in a review, but I'm trying to help you become a better writer.